Currently, I feel as if I'm some living zombie.
I just woke up from my approximately-one-hour nap but I don't feel really energized actually. I feel like, I'm half awake and half asleep. It's like I'm "soul-less"
Thanks to Geography, I slept at 2am this morning. It was so bad for me. I went to school feeling lethargic and also, like a terrorist. Every single thing a teacher said just made me feel even more irritated. Not to forget, the weather- I get irritable on hot weathers. AARG. It was like, everything just didn't seem to go right.
Then, dance practice soon after school ended and needless to say, I went for dance practice feeling "SIAN..."
Not because I don't like dancing or because I'm lazy. It's just that, I'm really really really burning out.
Evelyn said something about burning some string on both ends and that if you burn more on one side then you should relax -something like that. YEAH~ That's easier said than done.
I want a break from everything. I want holidays.
I want to be alone. Somehow, I really want some time of my own. I want to study by myself at Raffles Place or maybe, just with one or two people. I really need the peace.
During GP, I fell asleep. During Economics, I couldn't keep myself still. I kept stretching and moving about, hoping to make myself feel much more "ALIVE" but it didn't really work.
When I woke up this morning, I felt scared somehow. BECAUSE I KNOW I HAD LESS THAN 6 HOURS OF SLEEP. As I've mentioned before, I'll really panic when I sleep after 12am.
The clock struck twelve, I immediately went "OMG!!! 12!!!!!!!" I will then start to feel stress. Sleeping after 12 on a school day is too much for me to take.
That Sunday, I stayed over at Yvonne's place for our Economics ILP. We slept at approximately 2am and I was supposed to reach school at 7-8am the next day. I didn' t had my stuffs with me so I intended to go home before going to school which meant waking up at 6am-7am. WOAH. That was really.... I don't remember staying up so late to do work ever since I come to Hwa Chong. I didn't like it anyway.
And because I'm so tired, I tend to shut other stuffs and everyone out of my world. I'm like living in my own world, leading my own life. I feel as if, no communication is really taking place between the outside world and me and thus, I'm trapped in an air bubble. I am watching everything around me, with detachment.
It's no good. I feel cold and emotionless somehow but I can't help it.
Oh well~ Stress will be over soon. I know the June Holidays are waiting for me.
GO GO GO! :D
Maybe, one day, I'll be able to get myself out of the bubble. Or do I wait for someone to poke that bubble? HAHA! Ok, that sounds weird.
