Sunday.

The weekends are over again.

Great~

Today wasn't too bad. I actually went out for some family dinner (sort of~).

It's been quite long since I actually went out with my family members because, well~ I usually spend my Sundays in Orchard. Hah. But I'm kinda bored and sick of everything already. So I stopped doing what I used to do always/frequently. So yes, I've been going to Orchard less. I've been neglecting my phone. I've been spending less time on the internet. I don't know why but I just don't feel like being contactable. Oh wells.

So, I went out for dim sum today. And I bought conditioner, shampoo, facial foam.

Can't wait to use the new shampoo because it smells sooooo good. :)

I seem to have changed...................................... I don't know how to explain but I just feel different all of a sudden.

Hm. It was like as if I woke up in the morning and feel like I don't care about a lot of things. And I'm like antisocial. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy~ Not today. It started maybe, two weeks ago?

I remember there was this period a few years back then when I felt like this too. Like, I'm usually talkative and noisy around my relatives but there was this particular year when I just felt different and I just felt like I don't have much to talk to people about. zz

ahh whatever. This shouldn't be my ~priority~ right now.

Summarised.

I want to get so many albums ><

Anyway, school life's been sucky. As usual.

My timetable for last week was -->

Monday - OCP. Monday was really. bad. I don't know why but I just felt upset. And my stomach didn't feel well since morning. I wanted to get out of school badly. And so I did. But yeah, that was the day I was locked outside of my house because I didn't have keys with me and my grandfather wasn't at home. **Only 5 people attended GP that day**

Tuesday - Came in to school at approximately 10am and then school at around 1 plus?

Well. The Econs lecture was some Humanities programme thing anyway. And when I reached school, I just went to the library to study for approximately an hour before Chemistry starts. And Chemistry was kinda... boring that day. Now that we're all in different venues, I didn't know who was in that same classroom as I was. When I reached there, I realized I didn't know anyone. There were a few familiar faces but not like we know each other personally so I just sat at the back, leaving one seat between myself and this guy whom I've seen around in school but never talked to. I forgot to bring the TYS that day so I thought I'll ask the guy who sat next to me if we can share. And he gave me some weird hand gesture. -.- Like as if he was coerced into sharing his TYS with me. Then some other guy came in late and he sat at the back row too. I don't know his name. Seems friendly though, he kept smiling.

Wednesday - Full day (but I managed to skip CT so I reached home at 1 plus)

Wednesday was fantastic. I will try to skip CT every Wednesday so that I can go home earlier.

Thursday - I came to school. :) Survived tutorial day. So that's kinda like an achievement. Oh yeah. I felt some sort of stress that day. And I really felt so stressed I wanted to tell my mum how bad I feel for being such a bad student. Like, I'm so disappointing.

Friday- I didn't go to school. Told my mum about it. And she just kept telling me to not stress myself out but seriously. How can I not? Even my CT says "If I were your mum, I'll be very disappointed" blahblahblah. Yeah. I know. I hate myself pretty much too. Friday was kinda~ useless? Put GP and Econs tutorial together and that's not productive for me. I just feel like I can do more if I try to do it myself?

I don't know.

I know I'm stubborn but I really don't wish to go to school.

In school, I feel like I'm just unhappy throughout the entire school day. I feel terrible and I just can't wait to leave school everyday. :S

Saturday (Today)- MAD farewell party. omg it was crazy. Ok, I didn't want to go initially because I just don't really feel like socializing. But I went in the end. I went in like what. Heels and dress. Totally didn't think that there'll be games or whatever. There was this game of Captain's ball. Captain's ball would have been quite bad since I'm in heels and dress but it was worse. They used some dead chicken and it was just :S I was just dodging the chicken.

Sunday's coming in a few minutes time.

I know I've been MIA-ing these days but I can't help it. I don't feel like interacting. I just want to coop myself up in my room all day. Sleep. Read. Eat.

Friday was fantastic because I had a few hours of ALONE time at home. And so, I just played music on speakers, sing, read out loud~ It felt sooooooo goooooood. :/

I really cherish every chance I get to have alone time. Loner much.

then, dinner at Bukit Batok with Kelz and we just stayed there to study until 10 plus?

Wonder how this week will be like.

**Oh. And not going for prom.

Thank God for

Maroon 5

Simple Plan

The Summer Set

I was stuck outside my house for like one hour? :/

Planned out what I wanted to do so I rushed back homeafter stationery shopping.

But I didn't have my keys (I don't have keys) and my grandfather wasn't at home *sob sob*

So I thought I'll wait for awhile. Finished the fries I bought for lunch.

Then I started singing because I was so bored. And there was nobody around at all. So I started dancing a little. Then after that, I was kinda tired so I sat down and tried to read some stuff (but I was still singing at the same time -.-)

Woah seriously. Thank God for Maroon 5. I sang Misery and This Love over and over again.

After like close to an hour, my grandfather came back home to get something so yay. I got into the house. ZZ

Don't feel like eating that Mcspicy burger I bought for lunch already.

SIAN. Today was really damn sian. There was NO fun at all. omg. -.-

Probably going to spam myself with more Simple Plan songs this afternoon. Woohoo.

And well, try to study or something. Yuck.

Finally got a chance to talk to Charis today. HmmmMMMMmmmm.. And we were like saying. oh I started saying "I kinda think I made a wrong choice in coming to HC"

But well. It's not like we have any choice now right~

Getting out of HC soon already. Just go study~

**Love the songs in my ipod now. :))

To all those out there who feel sian today

Brainless tales! ^^ :

The other side of down.

Halfway through CT, Rena and I left the auditorium for the canteen. *Lunch*

And I don't know why but all of a sudden, I just felt like I'm so freaking screwed. My results are horrible. :/

But hm. The positive thing about my current life is that I feel less sad these days? Perhaps it's because life's kinda "stable" now~

I don't really know what to blog about these days because I really have no idea how to express whatever I'm feeling/thinking. So I just tumblr.

Anyway, I guess I'll be down for quite a few consultations/remedials/whatever. It's good. I need some pressure.

Somehow, I just don't do things unless I'm forced to do so. Like studying and doing work. So I do only when I feel like it. And I study only the topics I like. -.-

Breaktime.

Monday monday monday

HAHA! I took like 2 hours to finish that cheese kimchi ramen.

Ok. Not very nice. -.-

Today wasn't a fun day but it wasn't bad either. So I shouldn't be complaining.

Met up with Chan in the afternoon and attempted to study but it was quite fail....

Then after, I went Bugis with Yow.

Nothing much happened. Oh. Except for me being mistaken as some sales assistant in a random shoe shop when I was just standing around waiting for Chan to decide which shoe to buy. -.- A few times already. People thought I was some sales assistant when I was in Zara too.

I guess I just look helpful~ HAHA!

Since Sunday's going to end soon, let's end it on a ~higher~ note

I made a joke out of another joke. ^^

Alright I'm so lameeeeeee. Have a nice Monday~

“Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple – to be happy. Maybe it’s this expectation, though, the wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try and will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves. Instead, we just keep smiling trying like hell to be the happy people we wish we were until, eventually, it hits us. It’s been there all along. Not in our dreams or hopes, but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.”

—	Grey’s Anatomy

Bleh.

A summary of today's events.

• Watched Harry Potter.
• Studied at Soh's place.
• Went home

On my way home, I met this really weird guy.

I didn't think he was weird initially. Until people started moving away from him and he moved all the wayyyyyyyyyy (he was sitting at like, quite near the first seat on one section of the train and I was at that same section, on the same side but just the opposite end) right next to me. :/

I didn't know what to do because if I were to move away.. then it's quite obvious I'm ~runningaway~ from him and it just seemed bad.... So I continued to sit at wherever I was sitting. I don't know if he was talking or what because I saw his mouth moving from the reflection. According to my observations, he's probablysome game addict. His hands couldn't stop moving and the fingers were typing in the air like as if there was some imaginary computer in front of him. Thennnnnnn! The computer transformed into like.. Xbox/Playstation (as observed from his fingers) and it was gameboy/psp at one point.

So I figured I was safe. He wouldn't touch me, he was too obsessed with his imaginary game. After the ~games~, he started to act like:

And he did his Chinese opera+a little bit of martial arts thing out of the train. I was just like ?? ?? ???

Hm. That day, Rena and I saw this camera we wanted to buy. (But I figured it'll be an "bought-on-impulse thing") It's really cute though~

It comes in pink, white and brown I think~ 69.90. Digital camera.

Nah... I don't feel like buying it anymore.

Saturday's ending soon. :((( And Monday's coming again.

Everybody's blind.

Do I even look confident? hahhhh

Anyway

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. :/

Why?

I asked myself. I don't know either.

School ended at like 12pm. Tried to get out of school but failed to do so.

So I left school at 1pm. Rushed home to shower + change and get some stuff then went back to school (again) -.- to meet Soh. And then we headed to Orchard.

*Failed studying session*

Very very very fail. This time round was really bad. What were we even talking about?! -.-

Supposedly mature topics~~~~ HAHA! Which made us very sian.. and we tried evaluating each other. LOL And gave each other words of encouragement. ommmmmg. *Retardedttm* Thennnnn, we decided to go window shop at ION and 313.

After the window shopping, we were supposed to go home.. and I was on the train... but I stopped by Dhoby Ghaut. HAHAHAH! I don't know what was I doing man. And I just walked around for awhile before heading home. -.-

Tomorrow's Saturday. I guess I'm going to meet Soh after her tuition to study.

ahhhhhhhhh freaking no life. :/

I'm so so so so so tired. Guess I'm going to sleep soon.

Moves Like Jagger (Still so addicted)

I don't have the strength to resist or control you~

Wake you up in the middle of the night to say I will never walk away again

I'm never gonna leave this bed~

Listening to Maroon 5~

Hm. So today wasn't pretty much of a half-day but we ended half an hour earlier than we usually do. 1.30pm. Then after, I met Yow and we caught a movie - Larry Crowne, at Cathay.

Make me your radio, and turn me up when you feel low.

This melody was meant for you to sing along to my stereo

Thennnn. We studied for awhile. Now that we're talking about studies. Hah.

Ong talked to me again. What's new~

"You have the potential but you don't have the drive or determination"

"Do you want to have to see me everyday? I'll make you come see me if you continue to do badly"

"I talked to your mum a few times..yadayadayada"

Zz Same old thing. Yeah, I have no idea why I'm like this too. This is why I hate myself.

I hate myself for always being so.......... slack. This "I don't really care~" attitude.

So yes, I've been pretty irritated with myself and I'm trying to really change myself. But I don't know how much I'll change and if I'll be able to................

I just took some test that was printed on the newspaper. The analysis was rather accurate. 85 percent childish and I don't give a damn to a lot of stuff. I only do things I'm interested in. I won't pay any attention to the things I'm not interested in, I simply ignore. And because of this, I end up hurting the people who care for me and those who attempt to change me.

I sound.. quite rebellious. And problematic.

I know. That's why I don't understand myself.

I do have a lot of issues within myself~

And words can never really express how I truly feel/think. The meaning will just, not be the same, somehow. So I don't know how to say how I'm feeling.

Anyway, I just found out that my friend is pregnant. Pregnant at 18.

Cool or not.

Not really a friend, maybe... acquaintance? I was shocked. I wonder what her final decision will be - Abort? Or to give birth to the child?

I wouldn't know what to do if I were in her shoes. And apparently, she's going to have to raise the child by herself because the guy left her.

*Ouch*

Sighs.

Shall meet Soh after school tomorrow. 12PM.

I END AT 12 PM TOMORROW~ ^^

Moves like jagger

*addicted*

HAHA! Anyway, I didn't go to school today. And I didn't even bother to try to cover up when the OC Coffeebean staff asked me "Don't you have school today?"

"I didn't want to go to school"

"Oh no. I would have spanked you if I were your mum." LOL

Ahh whatever~

So today, I don't know why but I tried wearing heels out and omg. The journey to Orchard seemed much longer. :/

Tomorrow's half day isn't much of a half-day. Sian. ~Imma have fun in school~

Monday's over.

ohmygoodness.

I survived Day one of this week. Monday overrrrrr~

But it was like kinda long~ Like. I felt so miserable, somehow, that I almost wanted to leave school early. Zz

And tomorrow's even worse. :( 3PM. OMMMMMMMG. That's like so late. And there's still I&I to copy tomorrow morning.

After school today, Rena, Audrey and I went to Bugis's JCO to ~study~

But I was soooo tired and I kept getting distracted. Took a nap at like 7pm? till 8 plus then dinner+tv. I can't wait for bedtime again. Soon.

Supposedly doing reflections now. Shall try to start a little on something then go to bed so that I can..... I don't know~ Feel less tired+happier in school tomorrow?

Good day.

Today was plain awesome~

With the people I like. And I bought the stuff I like too.

And went to a place I liked --> Ok, same usual place. OC.

Met up with Tinwei, WY and Kelz to have brunch (Xinwang @ Cineleisure)

then after, we shopped and I bought a dress. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

And then went to study~ (I finished copying I&I - some) thennnnnn.. went window shopping and dinner at ION.

Oh. I saw this guy in very ugly high cut shoes. REALLY UGLY. You know those bedroom pink furry bunny slippers? YES. Omg. The shoes were just LIKE THAT. Pink + furry + bunny + high-cut. ommmmmg. Yucks.

Nothing much else actually. School tomorrow. Same o' routine again.

"huhhhhh... I don't want to go for PE...." followed by slacking around and then break and then slack around while waiting for math lecture.

Supposedly meeting Soh after school.

Hm. Oh yeahhh. My mum attempted to HTHT with me today.

It was quite........................... well, she just wanted to ask "So.. do you have a boyfriend?" woah sian.

Same old question all the time.

Then I said "No" of course~

And she was like "Look me in the eyes and tell me if you have or not"

Wth. -.-

And. She even used "Whateverrrrrr" on me. Like. HOW CAN I LET MY MUM SAY WHATEVER TO MEEEEE. omg. It's kinda weird?

bleh.

Back from JTS. Woah. I can't believed I went, seriously.

Before that, I really wasn't in the mood to interact etc. And I had tuition. :/

So everything was just siannnnnnnnn.

But well, I went eventually and it wasn't that bad (I meant, me). I talked. And laughed.

mmmmmm... and there were fireworks!! ^^

Not for JTS. As in, we saw fireworks from wherever we were at.

Then after, a few of us went to drink a little at Brotzeit.

I was supposed to catch a midnight movie with my mum but well, I forgot I've got places to go to tomorrow~ For awhile. But I guess I'll still stay out after that.

Yucks. Monday is coming soon. PE.

**The brownie and cookies from JTS like not bad~ ^^ I want to bakeeeeeee! HAHA!

Friday.

It's been a really really messed up week.

Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter.

Anyway, Friday is finally here and about to be over soon.

Not bad. Went with Soh and Rena to read/study. I was just reading my new book~

And talking. HAHAHAH! Our convo topic was damnnnnnn adult. HAHA!

Renakkuma learnt a lot of new things.

Met Karin after that, at around 5.30pm? And we just walked around FEP.

Then after that, I went back to OC to look for Soh and Rena.

And we just started copying I&I.

Because I wanted to speed up, so I thought I should listen to fast music and try copying at the same time. Shared with Rena and we both just couldn't stop laughing because the song was so. fast. and so. high. We couldn't write properly.

Our handwriting was totally illegible.

Alright, shall go send the photos I took of I&I to Rena and Soh. ^^

Monte Carlo

Today was quite horrible but it ended off well. Thank God.

School was seriously Sian with a capital S. I don't know why but I totally was nottttt in the mood to eat. :/ And I wanted to run away from school.

But I stayed till the end ok. *PROUD OF MYSELF*

~Survived one day of school~

And well, PE was quiteeeee laxing~ Height and weight. I GREW ONE CM. Supposedly. ^^

Weight.... I think I need to gain weight.

After school, I read my new book at at the class bench while waiting for Chan. Read and felt like puking when they described the pains of being a prostitute. ><

Watched Monte Carlo. :D *nice*

Anywayyyy, I like "International Love" :DDDDDDDDDD Pitbull and Chris Brown. omg. That song was totally like my fuel for today. Kept me alive~

And I don't know why but I kept singing this one line from Give Me Everything

"Grab somebody sexy tell them heyyyy~ Give me everything tonight~~~"

Wrote it on some econs worksheet also. HAHAHA! Sighs. I'm so. easily. amused. Because school's so boring I have to find some way to entertain myself.

And and and. Summer Rain by Matthew Morrison! I heard that song in the morning and omg. I just fell in love with it. Kinda. Because it sounded like~ happy. It's a nice song to start the day with~

Oh oh. So yeah, we watched Monte Carlo and HAHA! We walked in together witha few other HC people. Like some HC Movie outing wth. Luckily we weren't watching the same movie, like in the same theatre.. That would have been kinda funny~ And yeahhhh. I went into the theatre and some guy from the audience seat gave me THIS:

Initially, I thought he gave me some subway sandwich because it was wrapped in plastic but thennnn

I think it's a bottle?

HAHAHAHHAH!! COOOOOOOL RIGHT. :D HAHAHAHA! But I'll look retarded drinking from that thing please. LOL

The guy said he didn't need it (omg. Now that I think about it... wth. DO I LOOK LIKE I'LL NEED IT?!) HAHAH! Nevermind~ :)

Ok. I shall end off this post with a song~

LA LA LA. Whatever.

LA LA LA, it doesn't matter.

LA LA LA, oh well.

LA LA LA

We're going at it tonight, tonight. There's a party on the rooftop of the top of the world

Tonight, tonight. And we're dancing at the edge of the hollywood sign.

I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it.

It's alright, alright. Tonight, tonight~

Whoo~

The past two days were pretty amazing.

Oh. And I stopped using Twitter again. HAHA!

That day before Chemistry paper, I was supposedly alone at OC (how much of a loner I am. hah)

but then Meg came over to join me. And we stayed there till night. I don't think I blogged about this because I said I wouldn't come online for one day (still, I went online.. for a while).

There were groups of people sitting at Coffeebean, having breakfast (all-day breakfast), talking and laughing and they were just. so. happy.

I couldn't help but feel like laughing too. Not the only one ok~ Meg's guilty too. HAHAHA!

mm, so today was really. Laxing~

Met up with Soh and yeah, saw quite a few HC people. Watched a movie - Something Borrowed. It was not too bad~ Then after, Soh went home and woah, that was like one of those few days I actually went home before the sky turned dark. But anyway, I continued watching movies at home. So I watched No Strings Attached, Bridesmaids, Big Momma and plus today's movie at the cinema.

Think I'm going to watch Hall Pass also~ And I'll bring my book to school tomorrow.

Running Monday's timetable tomorrow. I kinda not want to go. :/ Probably wouldn't go to school tomorrow if Yow didn't have that university talk thing, because then we will be at the beach~ ^^

But nevermind. The beach can wait.

I have something that's really bothering me. A lot.

Feel freaking guilty. I wish I can just erase like everything.

I've got to let it go.

Whateverrrrrrrr. Ok. Camwhore to show I'm ok. HAHA!

Oh yeahhhh. And I'm sooooo addicted to Dead Man Walking by The Script. ><

Blocks officially. over

Yay. Finally.

After the last paper today, Yvonne and I went shopping. It was supposedly window shopping but we ended up buying some stuff. I bought two tops and 1 dress.

We walked into a lot of shops and omg. Topshop attracted me the most. Even the Topshop bikinis, lip gloss. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :/

And Editor's Market also.

Explored the whole of OC. And while we were walking out to 313, some people came over to ask us to take some group photo because they were playing some games.

mmmmm.. Saw a few HC people here and there also.

Tomorrow's probably gonna be like movie watching? With Soh and Rena~

I just went on Tumblr and I saw some post about this girl wanting a baby. so. badly.

Because 5 of her friends are pregnant right now.

wth.

I find it ridiculous. And she's just 18/19 -.-

It's so risky since you probably can't even support yourself financially.

Although my granny gave birth at 18 and she gave me the green sign. LOL but I just think it's crazy please~ Why have children and let them tie me down. HAHAHA! I mean, at 18?! -.-

But I thought about it before actually. HAHAH! It'll be quite cool, like.. omg, you won't have much of an age gap with your child. Then you can be like cool friends. :) Cool mum. HAHAHA! ^^

But still. $$

and it'll be so tiring. Sleepless nights. Have to change diapers etc.

HAHA! ok. I probably will go off to town now.

**I can't stop thinking about how apt The Show is. omg. HAHAH!

Tuition, then met up with Karin and then Shuting.

I just watched Angus, Thongs and Perfect snogging at Yow's.

and The Show by Lenka was featured. Haven't listened to this song for like........don't know how long.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop--
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go, can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show oh oh oh

Just enjoy the show oh oh oh

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show oh oh oh

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back

Just enjoy the show

GOODFRIDAY

I'MDAMNHAPPYTODAY.

HAHA!

Because I met up with Kelz, Hazey, Tinwei and WY. <3

Like, totally a good friday.

After Chemistry paper, I met up with Kelz at the school bus stop and then we just went to ~study~

HAHAHAH! A bit. Before meeting up with the rest.

Had dinner at Cafe Cartel and omg. I WENT BOOK SHOPPING. :))))))))

HAHAH! AND I BOUGHT TWO BOOKS. :D

YAY.

YAYYYYYYYY. :D HAHAHHA!

mmmm, saw HC people here and there.

Nothing much actually. I can't wait to start reading my books. omg. HAHAH! I bought this book on fairytales. HOW GREAT RIGHT. OMG. It was like. Just 5.90 and it's the whole collection of fairytales. omg. Like, short stories and woooohoooo I can read short stories on the bus. HAHAHA!

Anyway, I have this idea of wanting to do something ~kinda crazy~

But.

MMMMM. HMMM. *CONTEMPLATING*

More good news: No school for me on Monday + Wednesday. O.m.g.

WHAT DO YOU SAY~ HURRAY.HURRAY.HURRAY.

I think I'll spend Wednesday alone. Reading. <3

See how first.

Ohohoh. I saw like rats on my way home.

TWO. They ran past me and I got a shock. Then because my earpiece is like black in colour (the wire, everything) so when the wire touched my leg, I omg. HAHAHAH! I JUMPED. Because I thought it was the rat. And I did that twice. wth.-.-

+I missed the train station on my way home and had to take back in the opposite direction. -.-

I like different.

I take pride in that.

Until it made me feel like, I'm always the ~odd one out~ because no one really feels the same way. :/

Then yeah, I felt weird. So I stopped sharing how I really feel and what I really think, for majority will not understand the way I feel towards certain matters. bleh. Sometimes, I wonder if I subconsciously, modify my thoughts just so to feel more normal.

Don't know, but I hope not. Because weird or not, I'm still me and I should like me for who I really am. Better to be a first rate version of myself than to be second rate of someone else~ righhhht. Yes I'm right.

Anyway, I should be studying for Chemistry now but I'm so totally not. This is really bad.

1 more minute to 1111

*makes a wish*