:/

I know my worries and concerns are trivial in comparison to everything that's going on elsewhere in the world but they're certainly causing me much distress and misery today. Why do I always have to find out about unpleasant stuff this way.... Thought of going to the park and just spend some time being alone in there but then, I remembered I have to choose the modules and read up on how to use that system.

9JPIjpjosfhaouishouldn'tevenbethinkingoihfouashf0a8wuofstufflikethisawo8yW08Eq8l;9UQ]modulesmodulesmodules9f][\lASjkanbadluckmeu-8Uiajasdhaosu

kk I better force myself to not look this sian.

My boring Sunday.

I can't help but feel that my house lacks a lot of things - because we threw away or maybe left some over at my grandparents' place. I think its pre university jitters but anyway, I feel like baking/cooking something. I saw this recipe on bread and butter pudding on the magazine BUT I DON'T HAVE AN OVEN/MICROWAVE. Actually, I think I don't even have all the basic baking utensils -.-

BUT I STILL WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING.
And so I went to google for no bake desserts and I found this chocolate mousse pudding that seems, pretty easy. Seems. But then I'm not too sure if the blender I have at home is suitable for this random cooking project of mine.

Did nothing much today. My body's getting weird, idk why TOM is here again. I thought Bunny's period tracker showed 14 more days till the next time. then mmmmmm, went to Xinwang for supper after visiting my grandparents. ~French toast~ ^^ I love honey hehe
I saw this body mist from Body Shop and I think its berry scented, makes me feel like getting a bottle for myself.

These days I keep telling my mum "school's starting". Said it like n times and she asked if I was scared. NAH WHO'S SCARED~ *insert smug face from Whatsapp* ok maybe I am hahahahahha but I know everything will be fine. PRETTY SURE I'LL BE FINE.

Will meet Kelz tomorrow to see how she'll bid for her modules and stuff then maybe we'll go kbox after that or something. I really should enjoy before uni starts. I told my mum I'll probably cook/bake something and she seemed a little apprehensive about it (Because she knows I might just make a mess in the kitchen) but "I DON'T CARE. I MUST DO WHATEVER I WANT BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS." and she can't say/do anything about that ;)

Alright, shall end my post.

How I spent my Saturday

WITH MY HC BEAR AND A BOOK

Spent my Saturday afternoon watching drama and then reading in the evening. Was home alone most of the time because my brother went out and my mum had to attend some wedding dinner.

As usual, there were the fireworks at Marina Bay area and I could see them from my room. Reckon my Sunday will be as boring. Shall end with a few more pics of me + my lovely HCBEAR HAHA byeeeeeee

Can't seem to strike a normal convo.

So I was telling my mum "Oh my friends moved into uni halls already"

"So what does that mean?" was her reply

I don't quite know what I wanted to say either but erm..... she said she could sense the envy in my tone and she asked if I just don't want to come home. Actually, not really~
I mean, I don't really envy people staying in halls or what because I'm fine with the way things are now (but that's also because my mum's not in her pms-y mood) and staying in halls means having to get involved in all sorts of activities and I'm not really sure if I want that. And no air con :S I really don't know what I was trying to say..................................................... and I don't know how to continue with the convo so I just went into my room and stay silent lol Pretend I never said anything and go back to reading my book.

But my mum didn't stop talking just because I did. She continued to say something like how staying in hall is expensive.
Maybe I just don't like that feeling where I can't seem to do whatever I want because its expensive
I don't like having money as that sort of, restriction. oknvm

#justranting

Life's still good~ very good~ yay. fml

Yesterday once more.

Today's definitely not my day.

Met up with Megz for lunch and after that, we had NOTHING to do. We were so bored we went into Concorde and Orchard Plaza (sleazy orchard plaza lol). Really just walked up and down town.

But at least I know I'm not the only one who seems to think about whatever I think about nowadays. I was saying I feel like I'm walking about in a daze or something, like I don't even know what I really want and I feel so empty and IDK WHAT TO DO TO FILL THIS VOID. Nothing seems to make me feel anything, which is pretty weird. And I keep getting distracted by all these random thoughts which results in me not being able to focus on anything.

anyway, so we really did nothing. Kbox for two seemed... meh. There weren't any nice movies either.
.
.
Went back to HC yesterday (that kinda made me excited for awhile). Reached earlier than I thought so I went into school first and hahahha it felt kinda awkward- being surrounded by all the juniors in their brown uniform so I ran out of school and waited for Audrey outside but who knew she was already on her way in so I had to walk back in again zz Collected my cert then..............

I realized the same thing always happens after I leave school. I'll stand at the foot of the overhead bridge and ask "So where do we go now?" and we'll always arrive at the same conclusion - cross the overhead bridge and go to town. So Audrey and I went town and I brought her to this place where I last cut my fringe because its located in an obscure corner of my fav mall HAHA Sat there and read magazines while Audrey trimmed her hair~ Then after awhile, we just walked about aimlessly while waiting for Rena who is FINALLY BACK IN SINGAPORE!

While walking about aimlessly, some dude who surveyed us the last time asked us to do the same survey again -.- and there was this random lady who asked us to translate something for her. Quite funny because there were like so many other people over there but she chose to ask us. She wanted us to translate something that was like "this insurance will cover up to $40,000/20,000" I can't remember.
The funny thing was, we merely translated the number into Mandarin but she wanted to know what was the sum for - if she was supposed to pay or what. But we kept saying "cover up to blah blah blah" and she asked us what COVER meant. Audrey said bao3 hu4 and I said something random like bao3 xian3 (insurance?)

I don't even know if she really understood what we were trying to say.

then Audrey, Rena and I went for dinner and then the usual "sit around and chat over a cup of Gongcha" and then a walk down to Plaza Sing. (USUAL ROUTE)
Along the way to PS, the three of us were laughing about something then this Indian man - he was already like smiling to us but I thought he was probably smiling at some random thought.......
When he walked past us, he said "HEY DARLING" HAHAHAH I just "wtfreak?!" Rena and Audrey still turned back to look at him and they said he was still smiling.

Why do we always meet weird people. I'll never ever forget the man at the HC bus stop, the one whose pants looked like it was going to drop any time and he kept following us :S

Enjoyed yesterday. I was in very good spirits hahahahhaha even before I went to bed/lying on the bed.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Scorpio Jul 26 2012

Sometimes, Scorpio, when you want something too badly - so badly that your enthusiasm turns to desperation, and your hope turns to fear - you lose your power. When you allow your desire for something to become bigger than you are, then you lose your ability to draw it to you. You may be doing just that now with an important goal. You want it so much that you are starting to fear that you will never have it. You may be wondering how something so wonderful could ever possibly work out for you. But it can. Want it a little less, and you'll see it from a better perspective.

Agreed. I've been telling this to myself - want it a little less.

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WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I'M SO TIRED I WANNA SLEEP.

The registration thing at NUS took only awhile and thank God it wasn't like what I expected - some super quiet waiting room where people were queuing according to the first alphabet of their names. It was actually in the multi purpose hall and kinda like some waiting area in a polyclinic. Karine and I got lost while on our way because we couldn't find that sports and recreation centre. We walked down some route where there was still ongoing construction - it looked like some deserted piece of land hahahha then we decided to just flag for a taxi. The taxi driver didn't know where the sports and recreation centre was too and he drove in circles.

Guess he felt bad about it so he decided to give us a little discount.

After the registration, there was this fair for the freshmen - files, goodies random stuff like that
The fair was a total maze and there was no way of getting out, you just had to finish walking through and past everything before you'll see the exit. There were alot of different clubs and societies - there was this one where you feed cats or something and I remember one about anime. Quite cool, as in.. different. There was some radio one also, some macbook user club then a few dance societies, then sports (THERE WAS WINDSURFING!!!!!!!! Always thought wind surfing was cool) and there was some symphony one where I thought I could learn my flute (but I think if I have to choose something as my cca, I will want something else. Flute will be something I'll want to learn outside or something) I remember there was this riders club or something. Karine and I actually thought that was cool but the biker chick didn't want to entertain us so NVM.

I was telling Karine "Actually the people today........ not as big as I thought they'd be eh Maybe the bigger people are coming in the afternoon" Really, I thought the people were ok. Not VERY intimidating. Or maybe because I was having too much fun laughing at random stuff with K. Some dude in blue pants told us we can set up a laughter club lol (laughter doesn't sound right but that's what he said)

After that, Karine and I met Kelz for lunch at Clementi mall. I saw this really cute Spiderman t shirt from FOX I want to buy!!!!!! A kids' top ^^
Lunched then went over to Karine's place to play TABLE TENNIS HAHAHAHHAHA Actually we wanted to play badminton but Karine couldn't find her rackets and table tennis was fine too so we went down and played for... idk how long. It was hilarious. Table tennis OFF THE TABLE.
We were smacking the ball in the air but then after that, we did try to keep the game on the table~

Two security guards walked over to us and we thought they were going to stop us from playing because we were caught playing table tennis inappropriately by some surveillance camera but nah, I think they were just patrolling around the area hahahahahah After table tennis, we went to sit and chill by the pool~~~~ (ALL THESE TOOK PLACE WHILE KARINE WAS TAKING A NAP)

We went up when Karine woke up and watched TV + FB stalked people hahahahah

ok, today was good :D


THANK YOU FOR LENDING US THE TABLE TENNIS RACKETS AND YOUR CJ OUTFIT KARINE!!

wth was I thinking

Need to snap myself out of my thoughts uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurg.

.
.
.
and the other people, they really don't matter.

Why

I find myself liking/do things I used to not like. Not like its bad or disappointing, just a little amazed to know how I've changed (in terms of tastes and preferences lol).

Just random thoughts.

I was reading something on the bystander effect in a book and thinking of how its applicable to my boring life.

then I thought, is that how group conversations on Whatsapp work?

Although the bystander effect applies to emergencies and responding on Whatsapp is certainly not like some, really pressing situation that requires our prompt response but... somehow, it still seems applicable.

So I read that there are two explanations to the bystander effect : one being diffusion of responsibility and the other being pluralistic ignorance.

The bystander effect refers to a phenomenon where people are more likely to just be bystanders and not do anything when there are many others who can possibly offer their assistance. And these people remain bystanders because the responsibility is now diffused to more people. They believe other people will intervene and so its not their responsibility. Or they're just waiting to see what other people will do so that they'll know how to act - which means the inaction of the other bystanders will lead to the individuals assuming that the apparent problem isn't really a problem.

Back to Whatsapp, not sure if its just my group conversations or just group conversations in general~

There are times when you don't know if you're supposed to reply to a group member's message. Definitely not because of personal grudges but because you assume that there will be other people replying to it and so you're not obliged to reply. Or sometimes you're just waiting for other people to reply - and if they don't, then you just feel like "oh so it's not really something to reply to lol"

(but that doesn't explain why I'm sometimes not very active in the group convo k. I seldom turn on my 3G/wifi. Must clarify!)

On the other hand, if its a one-to-one Whatsapp convo, it's a little hard to not reply right? Because both parties know that there are just two of you in the convo and so if one receives the message, there is this responsibility to reply to it (the two ticks at the side of your message on the other party's screen makes it like a need to reply sometimes. There's certainly pressure to do so lol, not to the extent of stress but still pressure).

So is it just a group thing in general? that when there are more people involved then you just don't assume too much of responsibility and take on the wait and see approach?? Do all the members think that way?

Lazy Saturday afternoon. Shall sit by the window and watch my dramas until it's time to go over to my grandparents' place for dinner. 

Good day.

So tired after cycling. $6 for 3 hours. Value for money *thumbs up*
Quite happy after cycling because I didn't think I could still cycle. The last time I rode my bike was like in primary school? Not bad at all hahahahahha but I heard cycling's a skill you wouldn't lose, maybe its true that way. Had quite some difficulty when we started cycling and I was screaming and braking anyhow but it was alright after awhile. Then we played with the swings~ Took a few breaks in between then continued to cycle. The birds at Pasir Ris Park fly very low. But at least they weren't pigeons, just mynahs so as long as don't fly like right before me or near me then I'm fine with it.


We cycled for like 2 hours? then decided to go to town for lunch.
Hate the pigeons outside Taka area. And I hate people who feed them. YUCKS. Just look at how gross pigeons are uuuurg :S Then because some kiddo was feeding the birds, more pigeons started flying down and they flew pretty low too so I was quite scared+disgusted.

Next week's activity, probably swimming or something.
Shall drink iced milo and maybe read~

Think I'm getting broke again, need to get myself a job.

Someday.

SOMEDAY HAHAHAHHA

WATCHED DARK KNIGHT WITH ALY, WY AND MEGZ TODAY~

Then Megz and I brought WY and TW to the area outside Ion where they had this cube promoting Justin Bieber's "Someday" >< I think the event for promoting Someday's on Saturday. Megz and I were saying maybe we can go on Saturday then take their life size JB cutouts after the event ends HAHAHA

Although I'm not some very crazy JB fan/Belieber hahahahaha but I just thought we should all still take a picture. After all, how often do you actually see a life size Justin Bieber cut out.

PEACE HAHAHA

Then we went to Timbre for dinner. I really shouldn't have skipped lunch because I had gastric while on the way there. And tomorrow, I'll go cycling~~~~~

What an awkward post. (+random excerpt)

“I hoped that my obvious discomfort would put him off as I didn’t want to sound immature by saying something”


This reminds me of the awkward lunch that day. I was telling Megz I think I really came across as someone really rude and disrespectful (and possibly very low EQ) because I kept using my phone when my senior was talking to me about his product. Not only that, we were supposed to be sitting opposite and thus, facing each other but I sat facing some other direction and was looking at the other tables while he was talking. 
I really thought that by showing my very obvious discomfort will make him stop or maybe, at least attempt to change the topic of the conversation. I was embarrassed by my actions, especially when he reminded me to "try to not use my phone" when his manager's talking to me and also reminded me to maybe give a handshake or something. He probably thinks I have very poor social etiquette (BUT I'M NOT VERY BAD OK. IT WAS JUST ME FEELING AWKWARD.)


But I think that's how I really am when I'm faced with an awkward situation. Someone once told me that my awkward face is damn obvious. Idk, is it really better to feign your interest (but isn't that being fake, pretending to be interested when you're clearly not? or is that being mature because at least you're trying and not make the other person feel awkward?) or JUST BE AWKWARD BECAUSE IT IS AWKWARD INDEED.
I've always thought people will know when to stop talking because we should all have the ability to sense the awkwardness - isn't it like an innate ability.... (ok sorry, not saying that people who can't seem to sense awkward situations are dumb or what but... k IDK how to explain myself.) I imagine awkward to be like some sort of cloud/bubble that floats up whenever the situation is .     ..    .....   .. and both parties already can sense and visualize the awkward bubble in between them which then prompts them to end the conversation/walk away.

In love with the thought of you

Now that I've bought myself a new book, maybe I can just go somewhere to read tomorrow~

Went shopping with WY and Kelz yesterday - I went with the intention to NOT shop but then again,

"shopping for uni" convinced me to buy whatever I bought lol Basics. Yeah, basics~

Then I cut my hair today. FINALLY. Not some drastic change (I wouldn't want drastic changes), just a cut my fringe a little shorter. Actually I'm pretty glad I cut my fringe because I've been wanting to cut it for soooooooooooo long and it's been pretty hard to handle these days - so hard I just want to pin them up or use a hairband. :/

don't know how to end this post, maybe sing something random

"Why should we fight the feeling, let's just live in the moment~"

"Though it's just infatuation. I'm good with that~"

"Cause I'm in love with the thought of you~ with the thought of you~"

Stop asking because its annoying

Just came back from class gathering - had korean bbq then we went to Clarke Quay, got Gongcha and sat on some steps near the river to talk HAHA

Just camwhore// actually I feel bad now

Friday the 13th

Met a HC senior for lunch today and it was...... not that enjoyable.


Somehow, the whole conversation was about work, business, economics etc. and he brought me to his office. I thought we will just explore the office then leave and maybe idk, just walk about and chill or something But instead, we sat in the office and he started introducing the products the company was selling - some water filtration system, I'm obviously not very interested in talking about water filtration systems lol

The conversation was somehow like econs lecture + chem spa.
He showed me presentation slides (printed on paper), tried to mindmap/draw a flow chart out to explain how his company works. + The benefits of the water filtration system and the demos which reminded me of chem spa because it was like doing mini experiments, putting stuff in water and observe change.
He talked to me like I was a kid. Actually, I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M A KID although I know I look like one lah hahaha He kept saying "ok I let you play with this" and he just asked me to do the mini experiment to prove how efficient the water filtration system is. Ok but I appreciated it - him introducing his job to me and stuff

Then I thought that was the end of it, after the experiments and stuff. But he brought me to his manager and................ his manager kept asking me what are my goals in life/what I plan to do in future, all the serious talk. Before his manager came, I told my senior that I really don't want to waste anybody's time because I'm just clearly not interested in the job or the product. I think his manager probably felt exasperated talking to me.
Their job is supposedly something that'll allow you to climb up the ranks really quickly and you can actually earn a car after you hit that certain number of products. So she asked me something about cars and I just replied flatly saying I don't intend to drive
Then she asked me about my expenses when I go out but she used the example on clubbing, she said something like some of her friends skip clubbing because its expensive and I guess its supposedly something that's like "oh what a pity, you don't have enough to club. So maybe you should join the company." I almost wanted to reply "I don't club so I won't have that problem"

lol Idk, I knew that whatever she said made sense. The part on having plans for the future and having goals in life, getting a headstart in your career when you're young etc.

but I don't know how many times I've said it, "I'm not thinking that far in life yet."
I know my mentality isn't right but........... I can't help it, I can't help that I'm really NOT INTERESTED in your job offer or your water filtration system. Anyway, the convo made me feel really small and dumb. I hate talking about all these serious shit. I come out with the intention to chill, not to talk about salary...work... water filtration systems.

I felt really really really awful for rejecting the manager's offer because I could tell she was trying really hard to sell me her product and stuff but...... :/
Told my senior I felt bad for wasting his manager's time on me too but he said it was ok because its normal, not everyone will buy the product/join the company.


then social night~

Took with the girls sitting at my table 

ME AND MY NEIGHBOUR LOL

WITH SAM ONG! The emcee for that night

and Nic Lui, also the emcee ^^

Idk when I'll wear this dress again. Social night was not as awkward as I thought it'd be. At least I had the other girls to talk to when I felt awkward but it was fineeeeeee~

K, so glad Friday the 13th is over.

Worried.

Tomorrow, I'll have lunch with a new friend - let's hope it wouldn't be awkward
and then I'll rush home, change and go for social night.

Quite worried for tomorrow lol about everything, if I even have enough time to rush home after lunch, if lunch will be awkward, if my dress is ok etc. :/

Thank You For Being There | Thought Catalog

Thank You For Being There | Thought Catalog

So apt.

Finally, my dress.

Lunched in town today~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Actually that's just it, we kinda did nothing. Walked about~ (From OC to Paragon then to FEP)

I was thinking if I should get another dress but I found some shop in FEP that alters clothes so I asked the lady if she could help me alter. 10 bucks was ok... (I expected it to be like $20++)
The lady asked us to come back in like 40 mins and when we returned, the shop looked like it was closed. But I didn't think the lady will just disappear with my dress? HAHAHA So we walked around and gave her like 5 more mins, maybe she went for a break or something.

WY and I were joking, saying that maybe the aunty liked my dress so much she altered it to her size and decided to bring it home.
Anyway, the aunty was there when we went back for the second time. I think she went away to get her dinner because I saw instant noodles on her table. She was really nice +++ observant. She saw the hole in one part of the sleeves (the lace part I thought was quite hard to sew so I didn't do anything about it) and helped me to sew it up when all I asked of her was to alter and tuck in the part at the waist. :')
She also took out the mannequin in the changing "room" so that the lace on my sleeves wouldn't get hooked (which could possibly lead to it tearing) for the second time (i.e. it got hooked there the first time)

Genuinely touched and grateful for what she did for my dress, now it looks much better and I don't have to worry about the hole on the sleeves getting bigger. THANK YOU AUNTY ALTHOUGH I KNOW YOU'LL NEVER READ THIS BUT I STILL WANT TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH :') (and I already did so while we were in the shop) Will definitely go back there to alter my dresses next time, if my grandma's not free to help me with it.

Supposedly some GOLF POSE. HAHAHAHA

Oh yeah, @MEGZ who didn't join us for lunch at Medzs today
"E. TOTALLY IGNORED ME WHEN YOU'RE NOT WITH ME LOL BET HE WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE"


Will be going to Botanical Gardens tomorrow~ ^^ 

All you gotta do is swag~

I remember that line's (the title of my post) from a song. Met up with Kelz today~ We were supposed to go to the beach but Kelz said she felt like wearing heels and I wanted to show her my makeup (for her to tell me if it looks presentable enough) and dress for Friday so we cancelled the beach plans. Anyway, can't do much at the beach when TOM's with me.

So we went to town as usual, had lunch and then Kelz bought some sandals because her heels were too high and uncomfortable to walk in. Then we went to Orchard Central and sat on the seats near Gongcha, while I drank my hot earl grey milk tea ^^ I think we stayed there for quite some time, then just window shopped around OC. I saw this camera (actually, I've seen it at quite a few places) that was quite cute and it looked like it wouldn't cost much. The one I saw at OC was $25? Which is considered cheap............. but I remembered seeing similar ones at Far East Plaza at like $10 so we went to FEP and I got my film camera.

Not sure if I'll use it (hope I will) but it certainly looks way functional than the mini one I bought online last time, for like $40? That camera, you won't even know when you're taking a picture/video. HAHA

Probably will be in town tomorrow........... for lunch.

k goodnight.

and so they POPed

Can't believe I actually woke up so early this morning.
Probably not as early as those who reached Promenade area at like 6+ am but still early. I reached at 8.40am? Then waited at the train station for my classmate who ended up being a little late HAHA
Thought we were still quite early but as we walked to the Float, many were already leaving the area and so we realized we were late.

But it was still much fun. Met Yow after looking for my classmates and we walked around Marina Square then somehow ended up in City Link then Raffles City then went back to City Link then to Suntec then Raffles then Chinatown~
Reached home, ok not really HOME but I was at the doorstep then my mum said they were going to Parkway or something so I followed them and we went to Marine Parade/Kallang area for dinner. Today was just a lot of walking about (aimlessly). Had Ajisen for dinner and actually paid less than what we were supposed to pay for - because the staff left out a few orders and my aunt didn't realize until after she signed/paid.

aaaaaaahhhhhhh I want to sleep. Shall wait for my hair to dry. Dk what I'm going to do tomorrow, maybe get a haircut?

Bored (very)

Sat on my bed and stayed on tumblr for the entire day.

Let's just not talk.

Can't believe I spent an entire day outside with my fringe braided up.
Met Soh for lunch with Audrey @Cityhall. Visited Soh's campus too - which was pretty cool because the campus was not what I expected. Thought it was a school by itself or something.

Then went to town to get Audrey's dress. NICE DRESS LAH. HAHAHA Finally bought a hair cuff too ^^ There was this dude who surveyed us and told us some weird story......
The convo went something like this:

"Hello can you help me fill up a survey?"
"You guys look 16/17, how old are you?"
"Oh er 19 hahah"
"Did anyone else say you look like you're 16/17?"
"yeah hahahah"
"Oh guess how old I am?"
I said "25" and I think Audrey said 25 (or 27, can't remember) I wanted to say 30 but ok, don't think he was that old since he asked us to guess

"25? I look 25? I'm 20!!!!!!!!"
*Audrey and I was just filling up the form and not saying anything*
"I look 25?"
"Woah I can just draw circles on the ground already"
"I'm only 20 and you think I look 25"
"Later the clouds move over to my side and you see me standing in a dark corner"
"Sigh you all look like you're 16/17 but I look like I'm 25"

WE JUST.... laughed along because we didn't know what he was talking about. Why draw circles on the ground...... and what clouds................ ???????????
Had dinner with Chan@ Xinwang after that.

Oh then there was some black out at City Hall. I thought it was just me who thought the station looked darker than normal. There was some dustbin with smoke coming out of it outside of the station too HAHA I saw some lady carry a jug of water and pouring it into the bin.


//Sucks to be home. I know my mum's talking to me but not DIRECTLY. She's talking to my brother, asking him questions that are directed at me. So am I even supposed to reply? I guess being indifferent really pisses people off but I think if you want me to reply, you should talk to me? I don't mind not talking for the next few days because you're the one who started this lame cold war.

-

Sorry, not gonna answer you.

5th of July.

Scorpio Jul 5 2012
There is a fear you've had for a long time. So long, in fact, that you probably don't even think of it as a fear anymore. You may think of it as a preference or a vulnerability, but it's really a fear because it stops you from fully living your life. If you look at it objectively, you have allowed this fear to be a restriction and to determine what's possible in your life. You need to face the reality about your fear - only then can you free yourself from it. Take one small step at a time, Scorpio. Before you know it, you'll be fearless!

I have so many fears I don't know which one this is referring to

Anyway, usual OC-Thursday. Had lunch at Medzs but I had something different for lunch today (not my usual fish pasta, but omg just typing "fish pasta" makes me feel like having it NOW. Droooooling over it hahahaha). I had Seafood paella, actually I only realized quite recently that I like seafood. Then we saw E. from Medzs who tried to make small talk with my friend Megz (he totally ignored me)

I thought it was really funny because he seemed so........ interested. LOL
Then we explored OC and checked out the new Prologue. Well, I still prefer the one at Ion because the new Prologue is so bright it looks more like Popular than what I thought Prologue should be like (Dark like the one in Ion). Then there were a few students from NP who surveyed Megz and I about OC

They asked "How often do you come to OC" Megz said 2/3 days per week but if they asked us last year, we would have said "Everyday"
Went to Coffeebean to chill and saw the staff who used to work there. I can't remember her name..... was it Yvonne or something. She remembered us :') And she was asking if I ordered my usual HAHAHA *Touched* (Because I usually order hot cafe mocha or hot hazelnut latte in a TAKEAWAY cup even though I'm having it there)


So Megz and I sat there for quite some time, talking about random stuff - from people we know to Spiderman to uni etc. Walked to Ion after that to take a bus home (Why not just take from 313 you may ask.... Because we went straight to OC today and walking around just feels like a "must do" when you're in town. At least for us lah)


Meeting Audrey and Soh tomorrow then maybe Chan later in the evening.

//My mum hasn't been talking to me for 2 days lol #adultsaresolame

Rainy nights

Woke up at 9am then went back to sleep till 11+ because it was raining outside

then met Kelz in the afternoon for high tea and then shopping - actually we didn't mean to shop but there are just some times when it seem like the clothes are calling out to you like "TRY ME ON!!" and so we tried them on ~Why not~

The queue at the fitting rooms is always so looooooooooooooooong. Tried going to the fitting rooms on the third floor but we were asked to go down because the queue was just for men zz

Bought a dress from H&M and a top from the kids' section ><

10 BUCKS FOR THE TOP HAHAHAHHA I told Kelz "Now I thank God I'm small"


& YOU KNOW THE H&M KIDS' SECTION SELLS JUSTIN BIEBER TEE?

One eye creature with the hot bod LOL 

K Goodnight. Tomorrow's Thursday, gonna meet Megz.

Today I had Strictly Pancakes for lunch - met up with Jiwon, Cherlene and Megz

That's all lol

just camwhore~~
kk goodnight. Going out to meet Kelz tomorrow.

Spidey and people (people should die)

Shall talk about the movie first.

So I just came back from Vivo after watching The Amazing Spiderman. Probably will give it 4/5 because Andrew Garfield was in it~ Had quite a lot of random thoughts in my head while watching the movie like how Spiderman is so creative - He DIY-ed his Spiderman suit and that equipment that shoots web!! He's got a lot of cool poses - I liked the pose when he went down the sewer, the upside down one. He's a considerate superhero - there was this scene where he replaced the cap after he came up from the sewer, I mean...... that small detail, if you're a superhero and you have lots of saving to do then you probably wouldn't care about replacing the cap of a sewer? He's charming~~~~~~~ He skateboards. He's got a nice bod IMO (not too buff). Imagine a date night with Spiderman, it'll be awesome - you'll get to save a lot on transport because he'll just swing about with you in his arms. And Spiderman's cool because he fights green creatures (I DON'T LIKE GREEN CREATURES LIKE THE HULK) Big green ones especially. +++++ He's got a pretty great sense of humour. ^^

That's why Spidey's awesome hahahahha
The Amazing Spiderman was Amazing (Y)

Now the part on people (not just one person but a number of people),

I don't understand why people can't be more considerate, why can't they think of something from someone else's pov. Why do I seem to always have to be the one at the receiving + shorter end. And I can't even voice my unhappiness because I know it'll strain the relationship. I don't understand why some people seem to have NO EQ or are they simply selfish. Its like everything has to be about you. You. You. Whether YOU are free, if YOU can make it, if YOU feel like it, what YOU think is right.

Why must I know how YOU will feel when you don't even give a damn about how I feel...


If you're putting me through a potentially awkward situation


If a situation would make me uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that I have no choice but to lie but then again.. I don't know what lies I should come up with because I don't know what you've said before me.


If what you said sounded offensive


If you're making me do something that's just not convenient and so out of the way for me for your convenience

I doubt if you (all) will even do it for me.

There are some people who simply speak without thinking if their words may actually bring about hurt/sound offensive to the other party. And Idk whether to feel pissed or sorry for these people, if they actually knew what they said sounded rude/inappropriate or if they did it unintentionally. If they did it unintentionally then I'll wonder how many others have they pissed off without knowing themselves, for that.. I feel a little sorry for these people. As in, isn't it quite sad - not knowing that you pissed someone off and that they're probably bitching behind your back and swearing at you lol

Then there are some people who, for some reason seem to think other people should leave their days/time free for them. Who do you think you are............................. Am I supposed to sit around and wait for you all day long?? And then you'll probably change the plans last minute when I thought we already arranged for it.

And then my mum. I don't know what just happened, it was kinda like a blur because it happened so fast - like a storm. So I reached home, showered, took off my contacts and put on my specs. There, you have it. My mum found something worthy of arguing - me putting on my pair of specs. The convo went like this:

Mum: So wow, you're wearing specs
Analysis --> There was sarcasm intended just in case you didn't pick up on that. She probably thought I was going to come out of the bathroom still wearing my contacts and if I was, that would have been her reason for shouting at me. But since I was wearing specs then ok....

Mum: Why are you wearing this pair of specs instead of the other pair
Analysis --> What a ridiculous question. I don't really feel like answering that.. unless you really want to hear my lame reply (which was "because this pair of specs was in the bathroom and I cam out from the bathroom?"). AND I WAS DRINKING SOUP THEN.

Me: Don't be irritating lah
Analysis --> Probably sounds rude to you but my mum usually would have been ok with it. But she lashed out at me for this. So I was also shocked that she actually shouted at me for this because that's how we normally talk?

Mum: WHAT'S WITH THAT ATTITUDE AND WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SHOUT
Analysis --> My mum shouted at me lol Wonder who was the one shouting. I wasn't. We were in the kitchen, everyone else was asleep. I thought mine was a normal volume but the kitchen was quiet so it probably came across as loud?

And then she just continued to nag about other stuff like my work and my salary. I don't understand, she wasn't pleased with my work when I had one and now that I'm done with work, she's not pleased with me being unemployed. Then she said I can just move out if I want to, if I really cannot stand her. And something about washing my own clothes. IDK, just a lot of random stuff that don't seem to make sense? They just don't link.

So I kept quiet and gulped down the entire bowl of soup. I don't know if she had a bad day at work or if my brother pissed her off or if it was pms (uurg women and pms. Damn you mood swings).

I don't know, or maybe it was really me. My mum shouted until she fell asleep and I'm left here wondering, so wtf just happened?


Think I should mark down the days when my mum starts her nagging/shouting/scolding so I know when I should not just joke about stuff like that. Today was tiring.

Actually I find my life pretty much exhausting with so many people trying to piss me off in my life. So many people with either really no EQ or just plain selfish. Its 1.25 am, I think I took an hour to blog? Good morning.

Life like that.

Need to do something about my face and hair. There is just something not right about everything these days and it makes me damn sian, don't feel like going out looking like.. how I look now. :(
Why is there Youth Day for my bro tomorrow lol

Stuck at home with my bro but nvm, gonna watch Spiderman tomorrow night

Andrew Garfield~~

So I went for dimsum at some restaurant with my grandparents this morning and then came home and took a 4 hour long afternoon-evening nap. Then had spaghetti for dinner and watched tv/videos on my com. Watched The Dictator with WY the other day - definitely not a movie to watch with your parents LOL It was crude. Thank God WY's parents didn't watch the movie with us hahahahha because they would have taken the second row from the screen while we took the third row.