Can I just not.

"I don't even know how you'll survive in future"

That's one thing my mum always say (and she just said it again).

And I'll answer with silence because I don't know either. Its just scary, like now I'm still 18 and in a few years time, I'll be like 25? (Time to get married just joking hahahhaha). Its like one day, we wake up and find ourselves being adults instead of teens (I still consider myself a teen k).
How do I even know when I'm supposed to grow up...

Is it something that will just come to me naturally or will there be somebody to remind me "ok so now you're an adult. Time to think/act like one" And when will the transformation from being a teen to being an adult take place? Will I just wake up and become one?

Where will I be working in? What will I be working as? Will I earn enough to support myself (at the least)? Will Justin Bieber still be playing on the radio~
Will I still be friends with the people I'm friends with now?
Will I wake up to more mornings feeling like life sucks or life is great?

Its like we have different priorities when we're in different stages of our lives? When we're teens, I guess most of us prioritize social circles and academics (for some people, it's an either/or. Like how some people just study all day long and have no friends) Then when we grow older, we start to think more about our careers, future prospects, housing all those serious stuff.
ok idk but it sounds damn tiring to me. I look at adults generally... they don't seem very happy to me lol They work everyday, how can that be fun. But then again, its not like you can afford to not work everyday when the cost of living is so high here in Singapore. And "fun", sounds childish and ignorant - like how life was before we knew what we were growing up to.

Then what do we think about when we're older........ like in our 50s? 60s? 70s?
I guess, maybe part-time jobs if we haven't earned enough. How many of our friends will still be alive? And then if you have enough money for your children after you die
Whether you want to donate your organs
The ideal design for your coffin probably
ok that was morbid lol

I'm so tired, k goodnight. Wanted to blog about people with low eq initially but nvm, maybe next time.

Shining like the neon lights

Today I was so bored so I thought I'd try to put make up on myself hahahhahaha

Skipped the foundation, concealer whatever because I just wanted to try to use the eyeliner. Used the pencil to outline first then the liquid one to cover #likeanoob I drew only the top but not the bottom......... and I tried using some pink lipstick I bought but never used.

Went down to get lunch from the hawker centre today and had fish soup noodles :D k boring day~

I'm waiting for the catered food so I can have dinner..

Daylight

idk what I feel like doing tomorrow, but I feel like staying at home. Explored Chinatown with Megz today (bought nothing ^^) and then we walked to Tanjong Pagar area. I feel like going back to AMK to get the soymilk from this one particular stall in the hawker centre. Dreamt about the beancurd pudding and the soymilk yesterday omg..

It really tastes very different from the usual soymilk and I remember asking the stall owner in my dream "Why is your soymilk so different?" and he replied "Because I used goat's milk"

It made sense when I was dreaming lah but I told Megz and then I realized "Soymilk is just soymilk, why will there even be goat's milk" I guess I'll ask the stall owners if I go back to AMK again. Bought soymilk from J-bean the other day, while waiting for Amanda but the taste was just not right and it was $1.60/cup. 60 cents more expensive than the one I'm craving for.

Thursday.

Scorpio Jun 28 2012

You have probably heard it said that time heals all wounds. But right now, you may be feeling hurt by someone's insensitivity or unkindness, and you are probably wondering how you will ever feel like your old self again. If someone has caused you emotional pain, that person may not even realize it, and it probably wasn't intentional. Take solace in knowing that you are now in the midst of a learning and growing process. As you learn a lesson, you will also heal the wounds that now seem impossible to move beyond.

Its Thursday and I'm sitting at our usual spot in Medzs with Megz ^^
Waiting for my irish latte~ then we'll go off to explore Chinatown in awhile.

Oh what a delightful day

I think Blogger needs those emoticons in Whatsapp.

Anyway, so I met Jiwon for lunch and we went to Medzs (hahahhahahah forever Medzs).
Jiwon had her waffles with vanilla ice cream while I ordered my Bread&Butter pudding + Tiramisu.
Somehow, the Bread&Butter pudding was watery......... so I just brought it to the counter and the lady voided that order and allowed me to order something else so I got the Chocolate lava with mixed berry flavoured ice-cream.

It was so chocolatey.

Idk why people said I've become smaller. >< Jiwon said it too, damn~

After lunch at Medzs, we walked to FEP (and bought nothing :D) then to Ion.
Bought a floral headband, yes I like having flowers on my head because I keep seeing pictures of girls with long hair and nice floral headbands on tumblr (reblogged quite a few). Actually I just reblog pictures of long hair with flowers on the heads, not 100% sure if the model's really female lol Having a string of small flowers on your head just feels so...... fairy-ish/pixie-ish. Like you live under the mushrooms and drink water from lakes yaknow~ Jiwon bought her earrings with dangling feathers hahahaha I think the earrings look nice, but definitely not on me.

-

Weird how I'm so used to receiving your messages.

//
just drank a cup of warm honey water, shall try to go to sleep now. Meeting Jiwon for lunch tomorrow :)

Run baby run

Woah I can't believe I went jogging. Didn't plan to do so but somehow, I was perspiring profusely when I reached home (went to town, needless to say). And I felt that I should not be perspiring this much for nothing, I should have a reason to do so - and so I decided to go to the park.

It would have been a joke if I lost my way while walking to the park lol (never really walked there before) Maybe I'll try jogging along Robertson Quay someday~~ If I know how to walk there.

So I tied up my hair and used my neon pink hairband to hold my fringe back - I rarely have my fringe away from my face because it kinda makes me insecure. I tried going to town the other day, with my fringe braided and idk why I felt so self conscious and I kept looking at the ground as I walked. But anyway, the weather was too warm and seriously who cares how your hair looks like when you're in the park~

k can. Nevermind, only people in the park get to see this side of me hahahhahaha
Submitted a similar photo - with the fringe back + ponytail for the NUS Student card thing. #justsaying

Shall go shower then have dinner~

Things I Wish People Told Me When I Entered My 20s | Thought Catalog

Things I Wish People Told Me When I Entered My 20s | Thought Catalog

Crepe Buffet

ok so I just went for this crepe buffet and it was not... what I expected.
So kinda like a disappointment~

I'll give one and a half stars. Out of 5.
Firstly, it took me like 1 hour++ to get to the cafe when it was actually within walking distance from my place. Maybe because I didn't know how to use google maps lah HAHAHHA BUT.
The cafe was really very small and I think I walked past it a few times without realizing THAT was the cafe I was supposed to enter. I expected it to be a restaurant or something. I walked along Robertson Quay and passed so manyyyyyyy other cafes and thought Avanti Espresso would be something like that but no, it was small. (ok not their bad, but it just wasn't what I expected)

Secondly, ~buffet~
I expected it to be something like... yaknow, different stations with different sorts of fillings for the crepes or something BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It was just like any ordinary cafe where you sit down and order the crepes - there were just a few to choose from. So that meant I didn't get to enjoy choosing what I want in my crepes, or the toppings whatever. *SIGH* 

Thirdly, the crepes were just ordinary. Not fantastic.
I checked the menu and it was like $6++ for one crepe which is really not worth it (no fillings!!!!!!!)

ORANGE?? (I don't really like orange)

NUTELLA (JUST NUTELLA)

HONEY+WALNUTS

STRAWBERRY+CHOC+VANILLA ICE-CREAM

IRISH CAPPUCINO @ $5.50? But not very nice imo

AGLIO OLIO WITH PRAWNS

 I love Aglio Olio and prawns. Look at them succulent prawns hahhahaha

Prawn looking sexy here yo~

I went there because my aunt bought some groupon deal and it was expiring so I just went there for the sake of using that voucher lol The voucher was $11.90 per person with unlimited crepes and one free drink - coffee/tea. With the voucher, we (my mum, bro and I) had I think at least 2 of each type of crepes featured in the pictures above. The "Exotic" one was not bad because it had honey and walnuts --> I like honey and walnuts :) #justsaying

We definitely would have spent more than $11.90 if not for the voucher.
ok, maybe I shall give it a 2/5 instead of the initial 1.5/5 because I liked how the prawns looked but the pasta was also mehhhhhhhhhhhh.

I just drank another bowl of soup - couldn't resist the vegetables. >< I thought I was gaining weight but people have been telling me I lost weight.

Today I don't feel like doing anything

Someone reached my blog after googling "has cheryl tan appeared nude"

lol think you found the wrong blog.

Anyway, got up at 1pm? and... ok I haven't done anything much after waking up besides replying to messages. And I just remembered I haven't replied to a few smses from days ago. kk go reply now, or maybe later............
Its so warmmmmmmmmmm I want an icy cold drink --> Shall go put barley in the freezer.

Random meet up but that's what we always do

So I met Chan town close to 8pm then we ate at Xin Wang - actually we don't like Xin Wang but we didn't have any cravings and there's always this problem as to what we should eat when we're in town.

Went to F21 (as usual) and saw a few tops and a bag that I would have bought if I didn't forget to bring my pouch --> which consists of money, a few lip care sticks, mirror and comb, plaster and cards. Chan tried on the skirt I brought to lend her but LOL that outfit attracted weird stares so she changed back to her jeans. HAHAH We just sat outside Ion and took a few pictures while she waited for her friends to arrive.

I told Chan I realize people seldom take pictures together if they are really that close. Or at least it applies to me, I don't take a lot of photos with my close friends but photos seem to be a "MUST" if I meet up with a friend I see like erm maybe once every few months? Maybe its because if we're that close until we see/talk to each other almost every day, every week then... taking photos just don't seem as necessary.

My front camera sucks. :S

k goodnight.
I just realized my tumblr background is very bright HAHAH

Overexposed.

Nothing to blog about on a lazy Saturday afternoon. I'm going for some crepe buffet tomorrow~

Probably meeting Amanda for dinner~ Haven't seen my dear friend for one week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's quite long, considering that we used to see each other almost everyday lol

Hopefully we'll still be as close after uni starts. Uni uurg :S

Thursdays

**ON REPLAY**

Maybe you'll like to play this song before you continue to read hahahahhaah (Trust my taste)

Just a suggestion~

BUT HIGHLY ENCOURAGED TO JUST CLICK PLAY :)

//

LUNCH@MEDZS

Met up with Megz as usual and today, we tried

HAM&SAUSAGE PAELLA

 FISH AGLIO OLIO

For desserts, Megz had her Bread&Butter pudding while I tried the Creme Brulee

CREME BRULEE

BREAD&BUTTER PUDDING

I never edited (usually just add abit of effects using some app from my phone) my photos but this time, I had to because the picture was pretty blur before editing- couldn't even see the sausage that clearly in the ham & sausage paella but now the sausage's visible.

I made a head band while Megz made some bracelet. Anyway, today wasn't a very good DIY day because our favourite spot in OC's Coffeebean was taken :'( so we had no choice but to go to the one at 313. It was so open and there were no mirrors, no private little corner. Then we explored Lucky Plaza because we wanted to get more beads and thought they'd probably sell it there but.... no beads found. There were just alot of foreigners and food places we never tried.

After that, we went to FEP and I got my contact lenses. I was supposed to rest my eyes for 20 mins after removing the lenses I was wearing before I go for the eye check so we thought we could just walk about but Megz had to leave halfway so I went back to the shop....

sat there and stared blankly because I didn't quite know where I should be looking at without my lenses... But I could hear the two ladies in the shop talking. I think one of them just broke up with her boyfriend or something and was telling the other one how some girl kept texting her boyfriend sweet messages and she couldn't take it. It was a rather small shop and I was just sitting before them so I could hear everything. I think I laughed and the lady asked me "Will you feel angry if someone sends sweet messages to your boyfriend? WILL RIGHT?! We're all women~~"

Then they proceeded to ask if I have a boyfriend, how old, which school I was from etc.
Anyway, glad I finally bought my contact lenses because the pair I was wearing already expired >< Kept procrastinating because I didn't want to train down to Chinatown or even go to Tiong Bahru lol

Entered the gents by accident after getting my contact lenses LOL Can't blame me, there were no signs and I even walked about in the gents until I saw the urinals then I ran out.

kk Shall go back to listening to Fun. then sleep after awhile~

LAST DAY@WORK

**MELVIN AT THE BACK HAHAHA**

Today was our last day at the paint shop. We stayed till 5pm though we could have left at 12pm because there really was nothing to do at all. At least we had stuff to give for the past few weeks, but not yesterday and today.

As usual, I had fish soup noodles for lunch. Probably wouldn't go to AMK area now that work's ended.

Although the job was boring, I have to say I kinda enjoyed my time over there. The people at the paint shop were so nice and friendly, always offering/buying us food and drinks when we're not even their workers (we're just working under some agency). It was fun working in a different environment - not in some mall but under some HDB, I got to explore that part of the neighbourhood and buy random cheap stuff from the provision shops, buy hawker food.. just stuff/places that I'll seldom do/go if I never worked at the paint shop since er I'm in town most of the time.

**LOL I JUST HAD TO HOLD ONTO SOMETHING**

(That was some Dulux paint catalog btw)

TW and I bought the uncles and aunties egg tarts from the bakery as farewell gifts. Also because of this job (had to wake up at 6.30am and reach at 8am), I got to feel and witness (more like reminded of) the morning rush + crowd (Scary with the buses all so packed and everyone with their sian/zzz look). Work wouldn't be this easy and slack in future and the people I'll work with next time probably wouldn't be as warm and easy to get along with. At the paint shop, you can really feel like the workers are, in a sense, bonded. They have fun when they work and it's just a stress and competition-free working environment. Ok yeah, there's nothing to compete for but HAHA I'm just saying people seem more simple and the environment's a nice one to be working in. #justsaying They push trolleys of paints to customers' vehicles regardless of the weather - whether it's freaking hot or raining outside. I think its hard to find workers as hardworking as the people in the paint shop lol :')  and how can I forget Andreas - the guy who's forever so smiley and always buying us 100 Plus and Green Tea. BTW, Andreas told us to just chill for today because there was nothing to give out.

Yup, so please visit Chye Seng Paints and Hardware at AMK Avenue 10(???) if you want to get paints. HAHAHAH *PROMOTING*

Wonder who will take over next week.

Went to town after work to take a bus home and I saw this guy (botak I remember, I mean..the NS hair cut) staring at me from a bus. Couldn't see his face though so I'm not sure if it's anybody I'm supposed to know lol Feeling a bit peckish, shall have dinner soon. Goodnight :)

The pair of heels that cost $19.90

Today, I bought a pair of heels from Pedro. (Ended work at 12pm because there really was nothing to do. For the past few weeks, at least we had stickers/bottles/pouches to give out but there really was nothing left to give out)
Took it out of the shoe box immediately after reaching home and I just stared at it/tried it on --> tried to convince myself it was worth it but now idk HAHAHA

I bought it because it was cheap. Like $19.90 CHEAP.
The heels look clubbish............ I shall keep it in the storeroom for now I guess. Walked in wanting to buy a pair of white coloured heels (I like the one from Charles and Keith, $43.90? It was quite ok actually but I couldn't resist the $19.90 and Pedro) but came out with a pair of black heels (again).

Maybe I should go shower soon and meet Charis and friends for xiao long bao buffet? Wear my newly bought gold shoes?

Sweet escape

Why am I back in Singapore :(

Trip was good. I feel like sleeping now.
There wasn't that alot of shopping to do in Genting but I still bought stuff like...... a neon coloured headband, a white+gold headband, a pair of Gold Nikes and other stuff not really worth mentioning. Watched Prometheus and Double Trouble consecutively because I was just bored.

Prometheus was.......... it could have been better if not for the lady who sat next to me.
She asked questions and talked throughout the entire movie like wtf.
This lady started talking quite loudly when they screened the trailers before the Prometheus started and her phone rang (or whatever, there were just noises coming out of it) - she didn't bother to end the call or whatever video she was watching. I turned to stare at her, in my 3D glasses though lol

Her voice was kinda husky, raspy..... like ok just rough. And I didn't like that voice.
but that's not the point. I'm not sure if that's just how she sounds or if she was having a sore throat but if it was the latter then she should have just kept her mouth shut during the movie.
She kept asking her partner questions like "AIYO what is happening?"/ "AIYO what is she doing?" and exclaimed "AIYO How do they film this?!"/"AIYO that was scary!"

All in mandarin and in that husky voice of hers AND THEY ALL START WITH AN "AIYO"
Which part of the movie do you not get?! I mean, there are subtitles - Malay and Chinese words on the screen and the movie's in English.

And her partner answered all her questions. Her partner's voice didn't sound as .. unpleasant so it was less irritating but STILL IRRITATING because you shouldn't be talking THIS MUCH AND THIS LOUDLY in a cinema. I thought I was the only one who found her loud because I sat right next to her but noooooo, the people in front heard her too (they chimed in when I was telling my mum how inconsiderate the lady was).
After the movie, I just stared (not sure if I rolled my eyes) at the lady - well, she looked back but Idk if she knew why I was staring at her [ BECAUSE YOU WERE SO NOISY >:o( AND I DON'T LIKE YOUR VOICE ]

If only I sat behind her.......
Would have thrown popcorns at her. Maybe throw the box too (popcorns as the first warning).
I really hate it when people talk during a movie. Before the movie ended, she used her phone again and you could hear the notification alerts.  >:o(

Nothing much interesting happened during the 2 day trip~

I got reminded of how my grandparents are getting older (ok, more like just my grandfather)
He couldn't remember how to get to the hotel room - which storey, the room no. , which lift to take

Like in Hansel and Gretel where they left bread crumbs along the path home, my grandfather drew crosses and arrows on the walls in the hotel to navigate himself back to the room

My grandmother didn't shop with us; she stayed in the casino most of the time and I WASN'T ALLOWED BECAUSE I'M NOT 21 

2 days away from Singapore's certainly not enough. So wearied of the sameness of my life.

Checklist

• Pads (JIC)
• Contact lenses (shall keep them in the case before I go to bed)
• Contact lens solution and extra casing
• Specs
• Book
• Mickey Mouse mirror and comb
• Mini water bottle
• Ipod
• Phone
• Hand sanitizer (MUST-BRING!!!)
• Eye drops
• A pack of tissue (because I don't really like asking people for tissue so I should just keep one pack in my bag)
• Hair tie
• Clips

I'll have to wake up at maybe 5am? But I'm not sleepy yet :/

Anyway, I bought something today while shopping with JH. It was a random meet up because we were both free so we met up for high tea at Crystal Jade then walked about in town. I saw this dress that costs nearly $100 from Miss Selfridge and I almost ~just swiped~ my card because it was really niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ><

It's right at the front of the shop and idk, I think alot of people will find it nice (because it is nice, my taste is not that bad hahahah) and I wouldn't want to get it if I see many people wearing it so....

Maybe I'll try it on when I go town next week.

HM. Should I bring "The Little book of Sudoku"?

OH. SHOULD I BRING PRESERVED ORANGE PEELS JUST IN CASE....

OK I shall ask my mum

SEE Y'ALL 2 (or 2.5?) DAYS LATER~

DIY THURSDAY

What we made today : floral headwreaths

Difficulty level, maybe about 1.2/10? *insert smug face* <-- my fav emoticon

FEAT. MEGZ (The one person interested and free enough to do random diy with me <3 )

HAHAHA But it's really easy. The stuff were all so easily obtainable and cheap too. It was just cutting of leaves and using wires to secure them to the other wires~ It can just get a little frustrating if your flowers break off from its stalk when you've already secured it to the wires.
As usual, we met at Ion (this time because I wanted to check out Prologue initially) to go to Daiso then walked down to OC to have lunch at Medzs.

Chocolate Fondant,Bread & Butter pudding, Chicken paella and this fish pasta I failed to take a picture of (because we ate immediately after getting the food and I totally forgot about taking a picture)

The pictures aren't very nice though...

That's chocolate fondant and not a cup of soil k. It was the lightings I guess.

Life's good when you have good food~ 
and good company~

So that was lunch, dinner was at Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao after 2 hours of gaming at Cine.
I don't know what I'll be doing tomorrow but I'll be away from Singapore for 2 days after tomorrow.

kk goodnight. I think I'll go book shopping by myself tomorrow~

Oh the dazzle

What the, I came back to see my macbook with its screen facing up .....


I think my mum used my macbook >,< Which means she saw my Chris Evans wallpaper (LOL but nothing to be ashamed of for that)


She probably also saw a few Justin Bieber album artworks - I just save random stuff on desktop.
Then she probably saw a few of my pics on my desktop because sometimes I drag random photos into "Desktop" (eee, weird. Idk, seems weird when your mum sees your camwhore pics. I give my photos random names and there was this one I took by the window so I titled it "win" so that I can find it easily. I wonder if my mum clicked on it. OMG Feel queasy at the thought of it)
Hope she didn't click on those tumblr quotes I saved ("WOW I DIDN'T KNOW MY DAUGHTER WAS THAT EMO")

and I didn't clear history the last time I used my laptop - Although its not like I saved some sort of naked photos or watched anything dirty so that its saved in my history... still, I feel uncomfortable with my mum just using it without asking me first. What if she typed "C" and my blog came up?!

*panic*


ok nvm. Weird how I'm fine with random people reading my blog but not my mum lol
Anyway, I listened to podcasts while at work and I actually learnt something new today


VAJAZZLING.
The first time I heard it, I thought it sounded sparkly~
and true enough, according to Urban Dictionary

Vajazzle : To give the female genitals a sparkly makeover with crystals so as to enhance their appearance.

I didn't think it was gential related until I heard the word "Pejazzling" 
LOL@Urban Dictionary's definition.

Idk how this trend came about but according to the podcast, I think the idea became more known after actress Jennifer Love Hewitt mentioned it on some show. Wait, let me google.

“After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady," J.Love said, while discussing her new dating book. "It shined like a disco ball, so I have a whole chapter in there on how women should vajazzle their vajayjays."


I find it pretty ridiculous and I was trying to not laugh out loud when the podcast mentioned something like decorating your gentials like as if it's some Christmas tree that needs ornaments.

and what if someone wants to vajazzle but not spend so much on it... are they going to stick on those tiny phone jewels on themselves :S

Anyway, yeah hahahahha so that's one thing I learnt while at work.


Another episode was on
Gynecomastia = man boobs = moobs like why it happens and how more young male adults are actually going for surgeries to remove the moobs etc.

JUST IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT SORT OF PODCAST I'M LISTENING TO, Its something clean ok~ hahahhahaha
"Stuff Mum Never Told You" EDUCATIONAL AND INFORMATIVE.
++ it helps me to pass time while at work.

Then after work, we went to wash up as usual and I had to travel to town first to get home. But I didn't even window-shop today :) Decided to just go to the toilet (Somehow I always feel the need to use the toilets in Ion) to wash my face, tie my hair then walk to the bus stop.

Oh I just remembered this old lady who made the *tsk* sound when I/we walked past in AMK Hub.
I told TW "THE OLD LADY JUST T.S.K-ed us!"
T.S.K as in *tsk* but I don't really know how to make that sound (whatever, I don't need it lol)

I strongly dislike people who tsk me. It gets me irritated (think I swore when I heard her *tsk* lol), maybe partly because it reminds me of how I still can't make that sound. idk I JUST DON'T LIKE IT.

K Time for dinner, goodnight~

**Just received this email from NUS CAC and it was a confirmation email for the camp but I didn't even pay for it so idk what this is all about, if I'm supposed to attend the camp or not**

CLOUDS

Nice clouds today :)
Probably will go book shopping after work since there's 20-25% off storewide. I've been drinking white coffee for two consecutive days while doing nothing at work~
Justin Bieber's new song - As Long As You Love Me on replay.

Funeral: Day 3?

I think its day 3.
Went for my greatgrandmother's funeral after work and I'm feeling so tired now :/
I almost fell off a chair (while sitting on it) hahahahah and all the old people at the table were like trying to grab hold of me. Some people actually thought I was just 13/14 --> younger than my bro?! Tsk.

There was some ritual performed and we had to walk around the coffin. I saw my relatives peeking to look into the coffin but I was too afraid to lol
Nobody seemed sad at this funeral - it was more like a family gathering. I hope my funeral will be like this in future.

So tired. Shall sleep after drying my hair~

-

How can I even forget that some people are merely curious.

Tell me a lie

Short escape on Saturday. Not really excited about it (er actually there's nothing to be excited about) but I guess still good to have a short getaway. I guess.

Shall go shower then be off to meet Chan and maybe get my toffee latte. Idk, just chill or something.

Damn, horoscope's right

Scorpio Jun 10 2012

Stop being afraid. Just stop. What better time could there be than now, other than in all the years that have already passed? You've been fearful lately - fearful of love, of success and failure... fearful of life. But that is a choice. If you could grab the reins of your life and maneuver your way anywhere, where would you go, Scorpio? That's where you need to head right now. Fear isn't getting you anywhere; in fact, it is derailing your progress. Be brave, be bold, and step back into your life. This is a time for you to blaze new trails to exciting places.
--

So simple

I like when someone shares little details - activities, thoughts for the day etc.

or when they reply with questions which shows at least some interest in whatever I'm doing

or suggestions which shows they made an effort to listen and absorb whatever I just said

It just makes me feel like I'm important enough.

Major turn off

Seems like a pretty self-absorbed, conceited one. :S

Wearing the SWAG shirt to sleep

You have no idea how scared I am for uni...........

The thought of it just wears me out uuuuurg.

I told my mum I didn't go for any of those uni camps because I guess she wouldn't want me to go anyway~ and I thought she'll think of it as a waste of money. But no -.-

She asked me why didn't I attend the camps to make new friends.

Sometimes, I just space out and keep really quiet - with a lot of random thoughts in my head

and totally neglect the presence of whoever's with me.

GG also said I'm turning autistic hahhahahaha (not to you also what~)

but not really....... I'm still myself when I'm with my dear friend Amanda (told her that too hahah)

and I was also myself when I was out with Audrey today.

Why am I rejecting some people from my life:

I can't help but feel that some people talk to me (when well, yaknow~ we never really talked in the past so why now......) because they're just bored. And I don't like it. I don't like that feeling when I'm just like some sort of temporal distraction from your boring, mundane, routine life. I don't want to get too close to people who probably will just stop talking to you once they get bored of you. Maybe some of these people who are trying to get close to me are not THAT bad but well, I can't- I can't help but think that way especially having quite a few not-very-nice experiences.

I don't know what I want and I don't know how I'm even going to make new friends like this. Like now, I kinda want people to know how I feel but then again, I don't feel very comfortable knowing that now, there are people who know how I feel lol which explains the "SMALLEST" font. Then again, I know that by changing the font to "SMALLEST", it'll probably give this post even more attention but.. thought there might be some people who'll want to skip it because the font's just too small..

Change is scary but it's the only constant.
Sigh goodnight. Tired.

Today, I

• met GG in the afternoon for lunch - more like his lunch because I wasn't that hungry
• met Chan after that before her birthday celebration at Pasir Ris (HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND)
• Managed to not shop when I was out with GG and Chan so that's great.
• and we had xiao long baos at Crystal Jade
• helped some random dude who was initially stoning take a photo. I couldn't understand if he wanted me to photograph just him, photograph him with me, photograph the building or him and the building -.-
• met Audrey later in the evening and we said we were not going to shop
• but we did. I bought a dress while Audrey bought a pair of shorts.
• Waiting to attend a relative's funeral right now.
• then I'm going to meet Karine tomorrow and OK I WON'T SHOP TOMORROW.

Fine by me

I have decided to not go for the CAC Social camp.

ok actually, in the first place.. I already wasn't keen on going for it because

• I'm really not enthusiastic during camps. Really.
• I don't like the Secret Pal thing, like some forced match making session
• The camp will last for like 5 days? and that's a rather long time imo
• $60 - I'd rather spend it on a new pair of Charles and Keith (maybe buy that white one I tried the other time) or that pair of neon sandals from Aldo/F21
• and... I just don't think I'll keep in contact with people from my OG? (It's like how it was in HC, maybe the group's active for awhile but it dies after that) If its hall camp, I can understand why people want to attend but this is not some hall camp so I probably wouldn't see these "friends" around that much
• Lastly, a random guy I met on the streets agreed with my reasons for not wanting to go. HAHA (explain later)

Why I was wavering

• People already start attending camps, its like..... uni's already starting and people are making the effort to make new friends and.. idk get a headstart in NUS and what am I doing at home and in town?
• Friends are attending OG gatherings while I'm.............. not.

Just an hour ago, I was still mulling over whether I should go for the camp. I was walking along Orchard (i.e. from Ion to Plaza Singapura) by myself because Chan left to meet her OG and she took the train to Plaza Sing. But since I didn't want to go home that early and I wanted to check out the price of vinyl at Spotlight, I decided to take a long walk down.

I knew there'll be the surveyors outside Mandarin Gallery and at the area where people wait to cross to 313 so I tried to avoid them but too late, this guy already made eye contact with me and I gave him an awkward smile. I did his survey anyway - the same survey I did like n times?

And as usual, the surveyors will make small talk while you fill in their forms.

The guy said I looked cute hahahah (but somehow, I feel that the underlying meaning of cute is "retarded/silly")

He thought I looked 16 instead of erm 19 (when I told him my age) *Actually, I'm still 18* Then he proceeded to ask which school I'm from and CLASS & CCA --> because he's also from HC. Softball and soccer I think? I can't remember his name though :/ He said I don't look like I dance (the last time I did some survey with Chan, the guy said the same thing. What do we even look like we do. Sewing? Math club? Astronomy?) And he's taking the same course as I am in NUS.

Somehow, we just started chatting there. Talked about all the camps that're happening right now. I told him I didn't see the point in going + its expensive and he agreed with me --> which was also why he didn't want to attend any of them. That really set me on not going for the camp because mmmm... part of me feels like I'm sociable enough (when I feel like it and when I'm alone) and I don't need any camps but another part of me is just afraid of being lonely and friendless in school?

Anyway, so the conclusion is that 

I wouldn't be attending the CAC Social camp.

Good day

Think I'm gonna meet Chan in a while then we'll probably head to Crystal Jade Kitchen@Taka for some dim sum~
Feel like buying a cardigan since its selling at just $10@Cotton On then maybe I can wear my tube dress with the cardigan tomorrow. But then again, I may not wear it because I reckon the weather will be as.. warm so, what's with the cardigan..
Time passes more quickly at work while I'm listening to podcasts :)

bye.

La la

Yesterday was a pretty interesting day - at work and after work.

@the paint shop:

It was the aunty's (Melvin's mum) birthday - ~Melvin~ like as if we're that close HAHAH But anyway, he's the boss I think or his dad. It was his mum's birthday. Found out that his mum's actually called Rose. HAHA What a cute name for an old lady. So we sang her "Happy Birthday" and had some cake~ 70 years old I think? I wonder how I'll be like when I'm 70. LOL Hopefully I'll have my grandchildren running in circles around me, singing "Happy Birthday" at the same time hahahah

I walked along the provision shops under the housing estates and found that they sell rather cheap stuff. Like crayons and water colour for like 90cents? "EVERYTHING TO GO" was pasted on the products. So I bought a pack of forks - 6 for $1.80 and I thought that was cheap so I can start to make my bracelets. Been looking for forks that are like super malleable but the ones I bought were unfortunately, not THAT malleable. I tried various ways to bend it but it still failed. The funny thing was when people from the paint shop started to find ways to try to bend the fork. LOL The lady in charge of her Nippon side took my fork and tried to bend it against the metals on the drain. She tried burning it using her lighter, tried stepping on the fork and bending it but all to... maybe it bent a little.

But it shouldn't have been sooooo hard because the tutorials really seemed easy. I was supposed to DIY and finish it within 10 minutes but nah, I didn't do it MYSELF and I took way longer than 10 minutes.

and how can I forget that stainless steel = alloy --> how can the fork be bent that easily -.-

@town:

After work, I met Chan and we went to Cine to play Dance Central and Just Dance 3. Had a blast with just two of us in the room. We played for 2 hours (+1 hour free) so that makes it 3 hours of dancing HAHA Just Dance 3 had like "group performances" i.e. if there are 4 people playing the game, we can each take on a "role" and follow that figure on the screen. +++ There's formation change HAHAHAHAH Dance Central 3 doesn't have that~

It was really awesome and I can't imagine if I have these games at home - they'll be my workout, in addition to going to town. And I saw Kelz walking past the chamber I was in - so she was there to play dance central (I think) with her tough rug friends. ^^ So coincidental~

While at work today:

 I read my book, took a nap, drank awesome soyamilk - omg, it was really nice eh. Tasted damn ~~~smooth~~~ then tumblr + googled for some other diy stuff. Nothing much for today.
Oh I saw Justin Beaver! *just this random guy who's awkwardly tall I've seen a few times, shall not explain why he's called Justin Beaver again hahahah*

After work, I had to pass town to get home and so I walked around aimlessly while trying to finish my gongcha. Managed to not buy anything from town so yay.

Some old man squeezed himself next to me on the bus when I took the seat meant for one child + one adult. I would have given the entire seat up but the bus was too packed and he was already sitting next to me. Hate that seat, it's an awkward seat. 

I was so tired when I reached home. Started this post at about 7pm? and it's er 10.16pm now. I feel sleepy already.

Shall post some camwhore pics - eh, I never really took pictures in this corner of my room before! And you can actually see the buildings in the background so its cool~

**CAMWHORE ALERT**

The sky turned to dark as I was camwhoring.

Oh, CAC Social Camp reserved some position for me.......

I thought they wouldn't let me in for the camp since I signed up so late and I listed "I'm making this decision on impulse. Shall sign up before I change my mind again" under about me.

IDK howwwwwwwwwwww. Go/not go?????????

One can never have too many clothes

I suppose.

Feel like buying a few more skirts.
Spent my Sunday afternoon reading random stuff like erm Stockholm Syndrome, Lima Syndrome and then some diy sites.

Hmm.. I feel like making this flower head wreath but I'm pretty sure people will stare at me if I wear it out on the streets. But people always stare so, who cares.

Life's unfair.

Everyone's (ok not everyone but still..) having fun overseas while I'm stuck on our sunny little island.

Sigh wtf. :(

Specs uurg.

So erm, I finally bought myself new specs but I think I look.....

IDK, I can only say

THANK GOD FOR THE INVENTION OF CONTACT LENSES.
FYI, the idea of contact lenses began with Leonardo da Vinci (didn't know that) - yes, I went to googled who invented the contact lenses.
and luckily I didn't change the lenses of this specs to some higher quality ones because I don't think I'll wear specs that often. Maybe only in the early mornings or when my eyes are just super dry.

Endlessly

Made another bracelet with the remaining chain. Ignoring the crowd around me and just..... making my own crafts in this corner of Coffeebean@313 while waiting for Charis~ Had some trouble trying to link the jumpring and clasp on my wrist, thought I looked quite stupid with the chain constantly sliding off my wrist. Then I remembered I had some tape with me (just in case I wanted to make some friendship bracelets) so yay I managed to wear the bracelet by myself.
Ok shall go back to reading my book. :)
//Today, I lied to someone about being too busy with work and thus not able to go out. But the truth is, we all know how slack my work is... I just thought it was pretty random and I'll probably feel uncomfortable with this awkward meet up. And because we've known each other for like what.......... An hour?