The thought of it just wears me out uuuuurg.
I told my mum I didn't go for any of those uni camps because I guess she wouldn't want me to go anyway~ and I thought she'll think of it as a waste of money. But no -.-
She asked me why didn't I attend the camps to make new friends.
Sometimes, I just space out and keep really quiet - with a lot of random thoughts in my head
and totally neglect the presence of whoever's with me.
GG also said I'm turning autistic hahhahahaha (not to you also what~)
but not really....... I'm still myself when I'm with my dear friend Amanda (told her that too hahah)
and I was also myself when I was out with Audrey today.
Why am I rejecting some people from my life:
I can't help but feel that some people talk to me (when well, yaknow~ we never really talked in the past so why now......) because they're just bored. And I don't like it. I don't like that feeling when I'm just like some sort of temporal distraction from your boring, mundane, routine life. I don't want to get too close to people who probably will just stop talking to you once they get bored of you. Maybe some of these people who are trying to get close to me are not THAT bad but well, I can't- I can't help but think that way especially having quite a few not-very-nice experiences.
I don't know what I want and I don't know how I'm even going to make new friends like this. Like now, I kinda want people to know how I feel but then again, I don't feel very comfortable knowing that now, there are people who know how I feel lol which explains the "SMALLEST" font. Then again, I know that by changing the font to "SMALLEST", it'll probably give this post even more attention but.. thought there might be some people who'll want to skip it because the font's just too small..
Change is scary but it's the only constant.
Sigh goodnight. Tired.
Sigh goodnight. Tired.
