Vexed

This is why I didn't want A levels to end.
As expected.
Fuck.


Shall go back to watching Raymond Lam.

Sensual, Playful and Feminine

eh, sounds like me.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH! nah, that was the description on my perfume. I wanted to try to see if it really had those effects. I must admit, it's really not bad. I felt good the entire day because I smelt so nice. hahahah even in the rain.

So, there was sorta like a consultation session with my tuition teacher today. I reached there drenched because I couldn't find the sheltered way. It was like a maze.
I swear, if somebody filmed me throughout my journey, it would be a comedy.

Let's start from when I was at home. Thought my bag was freaking heavy but I didn't know what to take out - the hand sanitizer has to be in there, bottle, pencil case, a few notes
And I chose to take out the "wallet" - which also holds a few lip care sticks, plaster, eye drops - basically, like a first aid kit + money
Stuffed the money together into the sanitary pad case. LOL That was seriously, ahhh... no choice.
When I reached Bukit Batok, I felt like buying my hot earl grey milk tea from GC
and I did.
I had to be like super careful when taking out the money because I didn't want to drop any pads in the process --> reminds me of that time when I took out a long ruler from my bag and there was a sanitary pad stuck on the end of it ><

so, I got my GC then, made my way to wherever-my-tuition-was-at
And hahahahahahahha I was walking about under all the flats, trying to not get drenched because I don't want to wet the contents of my bag. But well, in the end, I was still all wet. :/
What made things worse was that I was wearing a freaking size 3 flats. (Again, it all started at home when I was trying to look for shoes that can match whatever I was wearing and I found my Kappa flats which was also bought on impulse last year? Wore it once/twice but I wanted to give it a try again. Feeling adventurous ^^ Risk taker. hahahah) My feet totally cramped and I had blisters.
Also, I didn't have my "first aid kit" so I couldnt use any plasters.
seriously, I almost. Wanted to go to town to get a pair of flats.
But I didn't. *phew*

I just tip-toed all the way to my tuition place and my feet was just hurting.
And guess what was playing in my ipod when I was walking in the rain, with my feet hurting and damn cui Kappa shoes - My Heart Will Go On
what the hell zz Like some total tragedy. -.- (sounds like a sad love song to me)

Anyway, I still bought myself a pair of flats because it was damn cheap and, I reckoned I could use a pair? Not impulse buy. I really don't have anything else besides heels and shoes, like.. my flats are all dying so~

Hopefully I wouldn't get a fever after today. Please ><

** Need to get myself a book so that I can be less addicted to Sims 3. Somehow, the background music sounds like the HC school song to me. hahahahahahhahahah! TW just told me about having ghost babies and we kept talking about Sims like as if they're real. I said I was matchmaking my sim with some random man in the neighbourhood. LOL**
***Oh! and I saw this man at the train station yesterday, he was yelling at somebody and his face was so freaking red. And he was angry. My first thought : HAHAHAHAH! ANGRY BIRD!***

bahhhhhh

I've been spending my time downloading games. LOL
It's good in a way - takes me off what I'm usually addicted to - tumblring and blogging
So. I've downloaded Sims 3~  That kept me occupied from day to night yesterday
Went for chem tuition this morning. Met this rather weird man on the train.
I was at Jurong East MRT waiting for the train to start moving towards Bukit Batok. Then, this man came in and he was carrying a lot of stuff. The train wasn't exactly crowded.......
He came in and just spread all his stuff out on the ground - like as if he owned the area or what
Then he asked me "How to go to JB"
like.............. how was I supposed to know..........................
So I said I'm not sure. Then he said something about going to Kranji but I couldn't see it on the board (but I saw it a few minutes later and I informed him) He said this "Oh... I thought you're a Malaysian."

tell me how do you look like you're a Malaysian?
I just smiled and he looked like he was going to carry out a conversation, and I didn't know if I was allowed to continue to listen to my music or what....

Imagine a triangle. The height of this triangle is like the pole on the train and the hypothenuse is like the man. Yes, he leaned like that and he just kept facing me - I felt freaking awkward.
I didn't know where to look because he kept looking in my direction? Luckily I was only travelling to Bukit Batok - 1 station away.

Played Sims 3 again after I reached home.
Had dinner outside and hahahahah my mum said there were these 3 boys who were talking about me or something. It's just :S
because. The first thing I said when I walked out from Challenger was "zz those little boys" --> I just thought they were childish, from the content of their convo (all the vulgarities... in public.........?), the way they behave etc. HAHA
then my mum was telling me what, one of the boys was talking to his friend and pointing me.
sian, little boys. I told my mum they were probably talking about her. hahaha

Shall go shower and hmmmmmm Sims 3?
Thinking if I should go for the job interview. Then I wouldn't face Frictional unemployment.
At most, probably structural unemployment - but then, they said training's provided.
Ok I really have no idea what company it is etc. but they know I'm Cheryl. LOL

-

Watching "I Love You Phillip Morris"
Pretty nice gay movie. But. Isn't it quite weird to be doing all that in prison..................
It's about (ok, I'm so lazy so I'm going to just copy and paste)
"In I Love You Phillip Morris, Jim Carrey stars as a married father who is sent to prison and subsequently falls so deeply in love with his cell mate that he escapes four times to be with him. Interesting, and apparently a true story."


ahhhh! ok back to watching my movie.

Tuition in a few hours. woooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo.
Just look at how excited I am.

I hope to have a comfortable train journey.
There was this really irritating guy who was totally leaning against me on the bus yesterday.
and I was very grossed out because it was really tooooooo close and I was so squashed, I couldn't even raise my head. If not for my geography notes, he would totally be just.. leaning against my entire body, it was just. wrong. And disgusting. yuck...........
Why was I even the cushion... just because I'm smaller?!?!

While in town with JR, we saw this ice-cream shop (can't remember what's it called) filled with Christmas decorations and playing Christmas songs. But the guy at the counter....... he looked damn sian. I didn't even feel like looking at what the shop's got to offer because he totally brought the mood down.
I should be the one there - I was like, way more hyper than he was, singing Christmas songs. hahaha
Time to put some Christmas songs into my ipod. ^^

Yesterday's papers featured this article about foreign students having no fear when it comes to exams etc. because there will always be the local students to cushion them when they fall.
If I were the government.......................

I'll send them back to their rural areas and let them be subsistence farmers.
What's with that air of superiority~
*rolls eyes*

Why do you speak my thoughts

I wanted to do something crazy. Something like, forgetting people.
So it's like getting to know everyone all over again.
But this time, maybe.. a little more.......... distant? Like, be one of the more unknown, you-will-only-see-me-studying-and-nothing-else kind of student. More like goody two shoes? I don't know? 

but then again, I think it may drive me crazy. It's impossible to not know somebody when you know you do (I mean, even on the superficial level). Or is it not?

#not emo

curses

The spell's gone?

It is by the ephemeral

that our feeling is so strongly aroused for what endures

..
Watched John Tucker.
Had dinner and watched the Channel 8 kampong show (I'm strangely addicted to it. And I still remember that time when I overhead some high school boys saying that show is for aunties or don't know what. hahahahah)
Then, watched Black Swan. It kinda spooked me. I hate it when they show people holding really sharp objects and worse, the action of cutting your nails. It freaks me out.
I never let anybody else cut my nails. >< Especially when you already know Black Swan is a thriller and the chances of you seeing something gory.............. so I covered the screen hahaha

Couldn't find the top I wanted to get today. And the bra I liked - there's no red for it. sian.
I shall go somewhere else next week.

*so somebody just called me to go down for a job interview?? When did I last give somebody my correct number.................*

CHILLAXXXXXXXXXXXX.

WATCHING JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE.
Then after, 30 Minutes or Less and maybe The Help.
go go go! :D


**ok I'm going to be brave. I'll watch Black Swan**

Driving forces of globalization.

I'll be damn excited if I see this. ^^

sian. need surprises in my boring life.

hungryyyyyyyyyyyy. Geography tomorrow. :/

Why do I feel a need for a mini celebration after every geography paper...

and I say, screw it.

Too far from your idea of perfect but.
whatever.

I think too much?

I swear the toilet is where the most thinking takes place (I should study in the toilet).
A lot of things flooded my head while I was showering. Perhaps it was because I just replied to somebody's emo post on tumblr.
Just one of those nights when you cry yourself to sleep, when the walls come crumbling down and you feel like you have nobody to confide in. Even if there is somebody out there, you know you can't find the right words to convey how you really feel.

I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS. Like totally. That's why I replied to the post.
I'm not really sure if what I did was the right thing because sometimes,

(ok, at least for me) there are some people who can fill in these gaps perfectly but there are some who just simply accentuates your loneliness, depression, all the negativity.
So yeah, that was what I was thinking about while showering - did I make an acquaintance feel worse or did my words help.

It's not that we should not reply to people when they're obviously in the dumps. (You know that they need somebody to be there for them but are you the "right" one?) A little concern, a few words of comfort should.... be appreciated. I mean, afterall, we're all trying to be angels (what's wrong with being an angel...)
Nothing's wrong, definitely. But what if the person is someone like me.
I don't know, sometimes, when I'm feeling really down, I avoid coming online because I think I wouldn't be able to carry out my usual filled-with-a-lot-of-hahahahahas-convo
I may reply you with "mm. ok" throughout the conversation and that will suck - like, it'll be very obvious I'm so not in the convo
Back to how some people accentuates your negative feelings/thoughts - it's not directed to or at them but it's like.. how do I put it.......... you know they're trying to be nice but yet you just push them away because you don't exactly feel like telling them/can't find the right words to express how you really feel so you just give them the rather cold treatment.
I'm very guilty of this. And somebody once criticized me for it.

But I really cannot help it. It's like...................
I just think you're not the "right" person I want to talk to right now and talking to you doesn't make me feel any better (simply put, you don't fill the gaps I'm experiencing right now)
I appreciate your concern but I'd prefer to have some time of my own if you're not the person who can fill these gaps.

I wouldn't ask you to screw off or shut up but you'll be able to tell from my replies. like.. "lol.. ok.."
You'll know it's not ~normal~

Like Le Chatelier's Principle! (Or the channel morphology which adjusts itself according to it's discharge)
When the system is in a state of disequilibrium, it will react in a way to reduce that change so as to restore the equilibrium - in this case, if you come any closer to me, I will push you away
It happened once (?) and until today, I feel terribly sorry for what I've done because all my friend did was  to show me concern. I have no idea why I did what I did - it was as if, it's like some mechanism
Then one day, I woke up and things felt right again.

I don't know what's the whole moral/aim/conclusion of this post. LOL
I just had to type out whatever that was in my head while I was showering - which explains why I was in there for so long. (Maybe I really think too much)
You can go figure out what you've learnt from this post. hahahahahahah

More about me perhaps? That I'm rather eccentric and now you probably don't know when you should/should not talk to me because you don't know if you're the "right" person or if you'll just make me feel worse which results in me not wanting to talk to you until one day, when I wake up and I feel "Ok. Back to normal." and the equilibrium is once restored.
ahh wells.

A tinge of guilt?

sadly, nope.
I simply just ignore and reply the other messages, how's that.
Not being a bitch but seriously, you're only trying to contact me now that you need something which unfortunately only I can help with.

random

Somebody just asked if I have unwanted uniform.
The first thing that came to my mind: IS HE GOING TO COSPLAY OR WHAT.

Realize I love seeing pictures of soldiers reuniting with their family members. hahahahah

Being a soldier is admirable. :')

I remember that slogan that goes something like "My boyfriend, our nation's son" don't know what. I think it sounds... pretty sweet. hahahahahahah!

The HC bear is sitting on a stack of notes on my bed - soon they'll be gone.

weird convo seriously

What do you say when somebody who has a dubious profile adds you on Facebook.
All his/her pictures are of The Smurfs. hahahahahhaha

love geography love

Friday friday friday, it'll soon be here.

Had quite some fun trying to imitate the way a friend talks today - I got to integrate the word "gan4"into a conversation hahaha
wells. Nothing interesting in my life.

Is army life interesting.............? Maybe tiring but probably more interesting than mine?
don't know~ and not like I'll get a chance to experience it. I should cherish what I have right now because we tend to think that the grass is greener on the other side.
Anyway, I think the guy who sat on my right today thought I was muttering some obscenities at him. LOL but actually, it wasn't directed to him. He just happened to look in my direction when I was speaking.

so I've just been invited to a Facebook friend's birthday party..............................................

Oh Econs

Somehow, I just don't feel like joining everyone else.

Don't want to risk seeing things that may............ just make me upset and ruin the night.

so, I guess I'll just stick with my decision.

...

Looking forward to the Christmas shopping and party ^^

teeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeee

...

Had a convo over sms with a friend just now.

Does it always happen?

When both parties say that they're not going to be serious about it but.......... some funny stuff happens in between.... and then the lines get all blurred as to whether it's this or that.
the banter, the fun, this whole flirtationship

It's probably ok if you're somebody who's fine with ambiguity I guess...

but imo, ambiguity sucks. It's like, ok..... you're really not being serious but you do stuff that makes people think otherwise~

#not my life lol (filler inserted deliberately)

hm.

After A's, I'm going to go look for this book - "The Secret Life Of Prince Charming"
Seems like a pretty good one, been seeing quotes from it on Tumblr.

Saw a picture of that pair of heels again.
but anyway, what's with my obsession with heels these days.........
It's not exactly comfortable. It's like~ okay~

I don't know, I guess I just like the new added height.
It's different from how I'll normally feel so~ why not.

Saw pamphlets with all the promotions for log cakes, ham, turkey etc.
I really hope we can have a Christmas party. :/

Just that day, I saw this tumblr user who sent somebody who's tumblr famous a message. Most haters send anon messages but this user just did it off anon. She called the other tumblr user names (said she was fat blah blah blah) and asked her to get off her dashboard or something. And this girl's like 12?
Under her blog's faves, she listed having sex, smoking weed and a lot of other stuff I can't remember.
All I learnt was how screwed people can actually be. Sending hate messages seriously? And her replies to what most people say to her is "You're ugly. Shut up."
I wouldn't call somebody ugly but this is really too much. Her personality sucks so much I think she's freaking ugly. oops.  :x

but really, at 12?! What a bitch. sighs
It's people like these who make others feel even worse about themselves. yuck. Does everybody need to be a size 0/1/2/whatever-size-that's-considered-to-be-perfect+big boobs+other-stuff-society-thinks-is-perfect to be accepted................


**I CAN'T REMEMBER MY FB PASSWORD**
It just shows how long I haven't logged in.

Knew I shouldn't have watched it.
Now I'm tearing. zz

blah.

Oh Econs oh~

So my cousins came over in the afternoon. >< 

I really said nothing else besides "Hello!"

then I went back into the room, don't even bother if my hair's messy or what, had my specs on- all messed up.

Rather boring Saturday

-

Yesterday:

• Crapping
• Talking about the future
• Window shopping
• Tried on a few dresses - funny how my friends know stuff that actually suits me. hahahah
• Korean food for dinner
• Sat at Coffeebean for awhile then left because OC started blasting music

I feel like spending on Christmas deco ><

Tangs is now decorated and it looks like some.. candyland.

The inside of OC is also very Christmassy. The cakes and other Christmas related stuff.

AND I SAW SOMEONE WHO WORE THE PAIR OF HEELS I LIKE (and reblogged on tumblr)
3 more papers and I'm done.

boo. boo who?

In summary, I watched 3 movies yesterday.
1) You're The Apple Of My Eye - Some Taiwanese movie
I just remembered this part when I couldn't quite comprehend what was going on - but I inferred. hahahah
So the guys were in this classroom and they were bored, looking for some sort of entertainment.
Then they started doing something *which was the part I didn't quite get it at first*
and I think my classmate asked me (did she? or did she not? can't remember)
All I remembered was me saying "errrrrr.. I think they're wanking." (I wasn't sure because they looked like... they were strumming a guitar. Go catch the movie and you'll understand~)

The show wasn't too bad. I liked it because it wasn't exactly a happy ending, fairy-tale like kinda story (which totally doesn't exist in the real world)

2) FWB - mmmmmmmmmmmmm.. not bad. The part where Mila Kunis changed in the taxi reminded me of how I did it the last time when I was rushing to the airport. I shall watch In Time (with Justin Timberlake in it ^^) soon.
3) I Don't Know How She Does It - Sarah Jessica Parker and her voice <3 hahahahah

Shall go change then head to town to meet Kelz.
**I chanced upon this place which made me feel like settling down to study, so I'm going to go try later**

whooooooooops.

Yesterday's convo was hilarious.
stayed up till 1 plus. Woke up at 9 plus this morning.
On a very tight schedule today.

but whatever. Lunch breakkkk! And reading Thought Catalog
This one's pretty funny. hahahhaha! I agree with the author wholeheartedly. (LOL what's this, AQ? yuck no, it's out of my life.)
I don't get people who are unfunny and I don't like hanging out with them.

Although not to the extent that I'll marry anyone who makes me laugh (I'll have quite a number of husbands then) but I think being humorous is really a plusplusplusplusplus point. hahahhaha!

[don't know why but I just feel like linking to this.]
Sometimes, I think smses really convey the wrong tone. Some people just don't insert emoticons in their messages and it really freaks me out sometimes. The worst is when somebody replies in all caps - because it just seems as though you're shouting at me (which I KINDA NOT APPRECIATE~)
Really, the emoticons and punctuation makes a lot of difference. I do insert a sarcastic smiley sometimes, to show you how irritated/disappointed I am (oops. it's probably just me.)
But generally, adding smiley faces make things a lot better. That is, if you're smiling. (I don't like the fake hahas and smileys)
If you're not, use punctuation. Full stops can be rather scary sometimes - sounds serious to me
That's why I always use this ~    :)

reading this article on Wish Balloons now.
I thought I was the only one who actually do lame stuff like this.
Apparently not. Sadly, my wish made last year... is still unfulfilled. :/
I released the balloon in town, maybe the fengshui not very good....

#random post again

The radio played Dirty Dancer - Enrique Iglesias while I was doing Econs
I just realized it started with "This is for all the dirty girls, all over the world"
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah


not saying I'm dirty. LOL I'm not..... exactly....
it's just quite funny

oh my goodness, I was appalled by my Mandarin. what happened. ahhhh!
This lady called me and she was speaking in Mandarin- some lame survey and I just wanted to hang up on her because I was having breakfast halfway. I wanted to try to end the call by pretending I don't understand mandarin but somehow, this came out "wo3 bu4 xiang3 answer"
omg. what the hell was that............... yuck! ><
I wanted to say I don't wish to be surveyed but that seemed a little too long in Mandarin.

zz I woke up in the morning and see my brother on the com again. Like 24/7 (I'm not on 24/7. I'll keep my macbook away after I finish blogging.)
Don't know, it kinda irritates me to see that I have quite some stuff to do while he's got nothing. nothing. nothing to do at all.

Yesterday, my friend and I got somebody's birthday wrong. She wished him 2 days before his birthday (because she asked me which date and I said I think it's X Nov) while I wished him one day before his birthday (because I sorta missed X Nov so I wished on X+1) but it turned out to be X+2. (actually, it doesn't seem very funny now. hahahahah)

I can't wait for A's to end. I really want to go to the temple to draw a divination lot. WOOOOOHOOO! :D

Soon it'll be Thursday. eek.

Have a nice day~

It feels so wrong, it feels so right.

It's weird how almost everything replayed once while I was stoning?
eek.
Ahhh more geog.

Take A Chance On Me by JLS playing now. ><

-

** Worried. :/ **


Anyway, there was this one day (maybe last month? hahahahah so lag) when I was watching some variety show on Channel 8 and the host mentioned that a lot of people are into "Owling" these days.
(Am I noob or what? because I wouldn't have known anything about it if I hadn't watched that show)


Owling: the practice of crouching "like an owl" in unusual places.
I find it hilarious. hahahahhahahahaha! 
Seen pictures of it on Tumblr before and it just simply looks ridiculous to me.

whatever I'm reading now tells me that "Batting" is the in thing now. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

"The newest fad of taking photos of your body in an unusual pose in an unusual place is called batting. To do the bat, you hang your body upside down like the nocturnal creature and fold your arms in a V-shape onto the waist."

er. People pose their pictures on this site HERE

WHY DO PEOPLE EVEN DO THESE?

"It all started with planking, the brilliant act of finding someplace particularly uncomfortable, perpetuating that pain by making yourself as stiff as a board, and then capturing the moment in a photograph. You get bonus points, if you post it on Facebook or Twitter or another social networking site."

huh. Is it that funnnnnnn...?

And I thought the host was merely joking about owling. Had this sudden urge to want to find out about it this morning and ta-da. Nah, I'm not going to try.
Pigging's the best- just lie in bed all day long.


seriously, the funny things we're obsessed with. And Kelz just reminded me how crazy we were over Farmville. I'd call my friends to help me harvest my crops and milk the cows. hahahahahahahahahahaha! omgggg. And when the animals started moving, it was rather annoying because then they'll mess up the farm. hahahahhahah!


**don't know why but I'm reading thought catalog now. time for some econsssssss.**

wat da fuq?

Yuck.
If that's what the norm is.
omg, leave me out of it.   ><

circle square triangle octagon pentagon benzene

Will my 11.11 wish come trueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  ><

I had this pretty weird dream last night. I was involved in a bitch fight. HAHA!

It was one-way though. I wasn't exactly the one fighting...

I merely stood there and received loads of sarcasm. The other party involved is someone I KINDA know - not as close as friends but, she's just somebody I know, and who knows me.

The one thing I remembered from this was that I tolerated all her sarcasm until I could take it no more then I just asked her to stfu.

Can't remember if I shouted STFU! or said it sarcastically like.. "Will you please stfu?"

omg........... will it really happen? hahahahah (I don't think I'll ever win a fight. hahah! I'll end up crying, I bet.)

I hope I didn't say it out loud.....

have you any wool? yes sir yes sir 3 bags full

... / The more you'll feel exposed to ridicule.

That's true.....................   :/

There's this tumblr user on my dashboard who posted something I feel very deeply and strongly about.
It's not exactly something I'll go around telling people because it'll just make me sound even more pathetic (than I already am, at times). Unless my mood's in recession that day then I probably.....but I'll end up regretting telling you because it just makes me feel even more exposed. And like I said, I don't exactly reblog the stuff I really feel because I'm just self-conscious (yup it's just me).. how do you know the people who're following you aren't judging you..................... and so, this girl posted something (twice) and I just felt like I had to reply to her. Somehow, it seems as though I'm just comforting myself as well. hmmmmmm. :/
Not like it helps lah, but it's quite sad. I think she's one of those ~awkward~ person so she doesn't have many friends. She's got pretty low self-esteem and I know how it feels when you're just feeling so sucky, you post everything you feel onto your blog but nobody seems to give a shit. It sucks pretty much.
Which explains why I replied to her post (and on tumblr, you can't reply back.. Unless I'm the noob one(??) Shouldn't be!).

shall not say what her post is about because then I'll be telling everyone how I really feel. and yuck. uurg. I just can't. >< I mean, if there's a need for someone to know, if someone really cares that much (and not just simply, curious. Curious≠concerned) then I guess I wouldn't mind sharing (but then again, how do you know who's genuinely concerned and who just wants to know how dumb you feel?). ohwells. Goodnight. <3

Am I supposed to be glad that there's someone out there who feels the same way as I do or to feel worse because, I know I sound that pathetic at times.......

AM I SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YOU NOW

WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING LIKE THAT


random intro but that was the last song that played before I reached home.
Lunched at Lot 1 with Karin (NOT ANYBODY ELSE).
I feel good~ da da da da da~~

hahahah good lunch with good company and our usual crap talk.
It feels really good to be able to hang out so often despite the fact we're in different schools. :)
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. had a rather awkwardddddddddd encounter just now.
But I managed to pull it off anyway. Soooooo. Thank me. HAHA! *(just a little) Ego Cheryl today*
better ego than emo.
still fretting over some bra stuff. Sighs!!!!!!! Probably will try to solve the crisis after A's.

There was this one day when I saw many pigeons standing really still. And what made it creepier was that, they were all facing the same direction. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek ><

Somehow, I feel like I haven't been alive this week (but not everyday was as bad as that Tuesday when I felt like the walking dead.)
ok random but I just saw this on tumblr

This is someone dying while having an MRI scan. Before you die, your brain releases tons and tons of endorphins that make you feel a range of emotions. Tragically beautiful.

RIGHT. 11 NOVEMBER TODAY. HAHAHA! ABRUPT CHANGE OF TOPIC.

Hopefully I'll catch it JIT. :D

**lol I'm comforting somebody I don't know because she feels the same way as I do. Feels kinda weird.................**

Beep.

MATH PAPER ONE OVER.

Just came back from lunch KAP with Kelz.
Wandered about Cold Storage before Kelz reached and I was fascinated but the baking materials. >< Ahhhh! Can't wait to move. Told my mum I wanted an oven at home (getting the keys today) but I don't know if she'll actually buy one like she said she would.
oh wells.
I remembered the first time I tried baking a cake. LOL DAMN FAIL.
The cake was freaking heavy. This reminds me of some story I heard- where the maid tried to stuff some jewellery from the employer's into the cake which she intended to bring back home.
That attempt to bake cookies was also very fail. >< It became like some pancake. HAHAHA!
Wait till A's are over! I'll make sure I'll bake something proper, that is if I'm getting an oven.

This week really flew past. It's Thursday alreadyyyy!
I saw this funny HC guy on the bus, he stood right in the middle of the aisle, at the front of the bus.
and I was sitting at the seat for the pregnant/elderly/disabled - that one with 4 seats
He was like diagonally across me, with his perky ass towards me. Or maybe it was the way he was standing. I don't know what was he doing - monkey bars or what?! He hung by the bars and just swayed along as the bus moved. + he was blocking the way
Funny people everywhere.

I heard someone brought essence of chicken into the hall yesterday.

Shall go take a shower now and time to get back to work.
**Somehow, I forgot where the school collar pin was supposed to be pinned at. And I think I pinned it at the wrong side today..................
***The invigilator guy I always see outside was in our school again today. Feels weird seeing a "familiar random face"~

NOVEMBER 11 TOMORROW.

I like friendly foreign workers.

ahhhhhhhhhh! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I COULD SPEND SOME ALONE TIME. :/
Somebody came home......

Shall we skip the topic on today's GP paper? yes. Because it's over. I packed all my GP stuff into a plastic bag.

oh wells. Just came back from lunch with a few friends + 1 "new" friend.
It all started with me getting lost around Serene Centre.
I took 961, wanting to go home but then I thought I'd join a few friends for lunch and I was supposed to make my way to Botanical Gardens MRT Station.
I didn't know where it was................... so I just walked and walked and walked and I saw a few foreign workers. The dude looked pretty friendly and I really didn't know where I should be walking to (I FELT LIKE I WAS THE FOREIGNER) then the foreign worker just smiled and directed me as to where I should be walking. He was very very very very very very very friendly. :)
I was very pleased with his attitude. HAHAH! (Y) A BIG THUMBS UP FOR FOREIGN WORKERS. :D --> the friendly ones. 
There were a few other foreign workers, some lying on the ground, the others were just sitting in one row. On the opposite side of the road. Felt so weird because there was nobody else besides me, and the foreign workers.
So I made my way to Botanical Gardens successfully. (Y) JOB!
and I heard Parkway as Subway. If I were to make my way to where we were having lunch at by myself, I probably would have alighted at wherever I see a Subway.

Didn't talk to this one person initially because I don't know him personally - it was like, I know of his existence but it's not like he's my friend or what so I thought I shouldn't be overfriendly. Some people wouldn't like it what...... so I just talked to JR.
UNTIL. When we reached Parkway, then I heard KY and him talking about Ai. HAHAHAH!
COMMON TOPIC. That's when I finally said something. LOL

Had lunch at Jack's Place. Not too bad, it wasn't awkward. (Y)
Then KY and JR left for tuition, leaving me with "my new friend" LOL
Woah, thank god there wasn't awkward silence. >< (you know how anti-social I can be sometimes...............and just imagine if the other party is someone who doesn't talk much, eeeeeeek *music in, everybody out* but nah, I was in an ok mood just now. That sense of achievement after knowing I walked to BOTANICAL GARDENS- PLACE OF INTEREST! ^^ )


it all went well. We talked about school. HAHAHAHAH! That's what you talk about if you don't know someone well enough, isn't it?

IF ONLY YOU SAW WHAT I CAN SEE.

well well well, I'm sure we all know how Chemistry paper was.

nevermind. on to the next. GPPPPPPP!
I began to feel the nervousness when I reached school. I screamed. I jumped. I was listening to "Whip my hair". :S

Went to Bugis after chem paper because I thought I'd just get some food there.
Realized it was about 5 plus so I didn't get anything in the end. It wasn't exactly a wasted trip. At least it made me realize that my ez link card was low on value so I had to top it up. :/
Helped a foreigner just now - she was having difficulty trying to purchase some one-way ticket to Changi.
I was in my zombie mode (didn't sleep at all yesterday. Slept from 6 plus to 9 plus this morning.) but I could see she was really pleased with me. HAHAHA! She was like "ohhh! Thank you soo muchhh! Singapore is such a nice place. You're a very nice girl." HAHA! So a stranger brightened my day. :)

I couldn't sleep at all last night. ><
Hopefully tonight will be better.......

Saw a relative while I was on the train. Luckily I wasn't feeling so sian until I had nothing to say.
So there was no awkward silence and the convo went on very smoothly.
Thank me. LOL

ok, no time to even try whipping my hair in the toilet today. It's going to be a very very quick shower.
No singing also. hahaha! I was so sian I just started singing in the lift... it was like.. just a few seconds of liberation. Can't wait for dinner.


anywayyyy. don't be discouraged. <3 Lots of love from me. hahhahahaha so loving.

Sob sob.

So I see this will determine if I'll be sweeping the roads of Singapore in the near future.
Not looking down on the job. and duh, I'd love to have a very clean and green city to live in.
But.

Can I not play such as active role in keeping the country clean? ><

Good luck everyone! This week will really fly past us.
and soon, I'll be taking on more geography. ahhhhhhhhhhh!

I kinda miss those secondary school days when we'll have prayers before exams. I don't know, makes me much calmer...

ahh whatever. cyaaaaaaaaaaa!

Can you hear 'em

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWNNNNN~

ahahahahahahha! CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE RINGING.
A levels are ending soon. Sooooooon. It'll all be over in a matter of weeks and then I'll probably start to have the mood to dress up. These days, the only place I go to is tuition so I don't really bother dressing up as nicely.
There are just some of those days when I really feel so sian, I'll either 1) force myself to stay at home and just entertain myself with the com 2)go out with my hair all messy and I don't know, just jeans and t-shirt?
don't know lah, I haven't really been in the mood to want to actually dress nicely.
There was this one day when I actually left the house with wet hair. >< Ok, it was just to go down to the coffeeshop to buy lunch but still. That was the one time I left house with wet hair - firstly because I was sian, secondly because I was still going crazy over that hair fall thing and I didn't want to use the hairdryer.

*there are just some things I insist on before I leave the house. If not, it'll just totally ruin my day and one thing is wet hair.**

Haven't worn some of my new clothes yet. I really just don't feel like dressing up. :/
after A's, after A's.
I'm still thinking of that playsuit from Miss Selfridge..................... ahhh ><
Guess everyone's tired after studying. Let me tell you something I did a few minutes ago. I feel so dumb now zz

I was trying to whip my hair side to side while standing in front of the mirror..............................
just how much time did I spend in the toilet doing this.. when I was supposed to just take a quick shower.
not self-obsessed/narcissistic. LOL You know~ There are the highs and lows, there are times when I think I'm okkkkkkkk (today's.... ok........not very bad I guess.....) but there are days when I totally feel like I shouldn't even exist on Earth. (Being really truthful over here) Those are the days when I'll just feel so irritated with myself and I refuse to go out. I'll probably even entertain myself with thoughts of like... learning how to do make-up or worse, undergoing cosmetic surgery. But then I remember how I hate all the fake stuff. Fake boobs, fake looks.... eeek ><

hahaha, that was very random but yeah~
I'm very self-conscious. extremely. LOL

blah blah blah

Tuition from 6 to 9+

I better bring more food with me. Feels as if I'm going for a picnic instead.

sian. what to wear....

I don't even feel like dressing up properly.

can't we have webcam lessons or something. lol

Then I can just put the HC bear in front of the cam and I don't even have to dress up! :)

1111 IN 3 MINS TIME!

So, I ended up going to GWC with my mum for lunch+dinner.
Window shopped for furniture - lol, I think I was the one choosing actually. I told my mum the type of refrigerator we should get, don't get those with very noob colours. So I chose a black one but we'll see how. I told my mum I wanted a bar top chair, some induction cooker, some table that can be dragged close to the bed.. LOL I think my ideas were not too bad~ ^^ and my mum agreed too. LOL
So hurray.


I told my mum that I MUST have a table in the room because I want a place to do my stuff without anyone talking. If not....... at most.... I'll just go to Coffeebean and that will mean I'll be out on a lot of days~ And so, she agreed. I think. I hope.
but she rejected one of my ideas! I told her I wanted a reindeer deco in our house!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ><
We walked into Zara and ohhhhh myyyyyyy, I saw quite a few pairs of flats/heels that looked pretty nice.
After A's!

Everything also after A's.
I still haven't gone to the beach yet. SINCE WHEN HUHHHH?! LOL I think I said it since June/July?!
And I told my mum I'll help her buy 4D after A's too! ^^

Anyway, while we were outside, my mum was telling me the sort of guys she'll want me to choose if I'm choosing a boyfriend or something. Lamettm.
it was all because this really handsome boy walked towards us. -.-  BUT. Definitely younger than me and eeeeek. I don't want to be the cow with the tender grass (LOL DIRECT TRANSLATION). My mum was like "woahhh.. look at that guy... tall, dark and handsome. You must look for this type ah! Don't go look for those with fair skins!" -.-

My granny's out in Malaysia so, guess I'll be working overnight today~ zz
** I hope I will not miss 11 November 2011, 1111**

HAHAHA!

tuition finally ended.

I saw some HC dude at the mrt station. Can't remember his name but I know he's from taekwondo and he looks like this -->   -.-

Probably update again later~ zz

oh my god. let me off. shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I really don't know how I'm supposed to react to my grandfather's incessant nagging.
SINCE MORNING.
Ok, it's like this everyday.
In the morning, it'll be about food. He'll keep asking me to get food even though I said I'll get it myself when I'm hungry.
In the afternoon, it'll be something like asking me to get out of my room, walk about the house etc. --> the idea is just not coop myself up in the room for the whole day.

I know he's just showing me concern but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ><
I think my family members should look at how the other people in my school are studying?!?!
I cannot stay focused for that LONG so whenever the mood comes, I just grab it and try to stay as focused for as long as possible. I don't know if you get what I'm trying to say over here actually.

This is partly why I don't like staying at home. If nobody tries to interrupt my study sessions, actually.... my studying can be not too bad. BUT EVERYBODY JUST WANTS TO TALK.
Which is not very helpful right now..................?

So sometimes, I get so sian I just take a nap which lasts a few hours in the day, wake up at about 7pm and then read a little in the kitchen (at about 12 plus) when everyone else is asleep. Then, nobody will be talking. I'll be the only person awake, sometimes my granny too. But she'll be watching her videos so~

sighs. And weekends tomorrow. I wonder if there'll be anyone coming over for dinner etc. I swear, if my cousins come over.. AHH! I'll go crazy.
Hate it. And it's not like I can lock myself in the room because it's just rude when you have visitors over at your place?
Recently, I've been hearing couples quarreling/fighting over at the opposite unit (I think). It scares me. :S I don't like it. Thank god I'm out of it....

Sighs.

Good morningggggggggggggggggggggggg.


I haven't been to town for a week. LOL
Because I always cannot decide what I should bring soooo, I'm at home again.
nevermind, reduce consumption, increase savings. I got a red packet from my granny for my birthday. Don't intend to open it because I get that feeling I'll spend it if it's in my wallet.
Sometimes, I actually stash money in random components of my wallet or I have more than 1 wallet, so I keep some money in the other.
And well, my memory's kinda bad soooo I'll forget all about that money in awhile's time. This is effective to a large extent. There was this one time when I put a 50 dollar note in a Justin Timberlake CD and I totally forgot about it. So ya know~ That "SURPRISEEEE!" kinda feeling you get when you find random money in random places. LOL
And I put that 50 dollar note in my wallet... soon...it was gone.


Therefore, I think I should still stick to hiding money in random places. LOL
ahhhhh! I said I wanted to get my albums but I haven't.
After A's?


I'm reading on Kim Kardashian's divorce now...
"Her marriage lasted just 72 days, but Kim Kardashian is set to keep her $2 million engagement ring.

NBA star Kris Humphries was hoping to get the 20.5 carat diamond back from his now estranged wife, according to sources.

However, Kim's mother and manager Kris Jenner, 55, has nixed the idea.

'It’s a gift - you keep a gift,' Jenner, the shrewd matriarch of the Kardashian clan, told Good Morning America while promoting her new memoir."

A source told the website: 'It was pretty much an arranged marriage right from the start.'

'Kim was looking for a husband and Kris was selected for her, amongst others. She wasn’t really into him but she hoped she would be able to develop some feelings, but it never happened.

wow... and they spent so much on this wedding..........

which, right... could have been spent on helping the poor.
and if she didn't love him but she's still keeping the $2 million ring?! Doesn't seem right to me.


blah, have a nice day. The snoopy gif on tumblr makes me smile :)

I like it like that

A very good morning to whoever's reading this right now.

You're currently reading from a mature 18 year old blogger.

Cut the crap.

I don't feel like video-ing because my hair's wet right now.

so what did I do yesterday?

The truth is, I really did not celebrate in the normal "yay it's my birthday" kinda way.

I was out at Bukit Batok, met Kelz in the morning  to have breakfast and studied.......

until about 6 plus? then we had dinner with TW, Vannessa and Karin thennnnn TUITION until 9 plus..

It wasn't exactly much of a birthday fun, but I really wasn't in the mood to celebrate much anyway. Told you I was feeling damn sian in the morning already.

Yup, so I was really glad to have spent that day with a few of my friends and well, I had a cake over at Miss Chua's place too and another cake at home. So really, it was enough.

Chia's right in saying that birthdays become less significant as we grow older.

mmmmm. While I was on my way home from tuition, I saw this toddler *ommmmmmg damnnnn smallll = very very very very very veryyyy cutttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* HAHAHAHA!

AHHH >< SO CUTE. He was really very small and omg, yeah, that made him even cuter lah. Because he's so smallll >< HAHAH! I felt like carrying him!!!!!!! ahhh ><

The other adults around me were also looking at the toddler and they had this smile on their face which also says "omg the toddler damn cute"

There was this guy, who looked like he works in the coffeeshop - ya know, those people who take your orders for drinks. He looks er.. normal. But when I saw him smiling at the kid, he totally lit up. As in, he had this imaginary halo over his head. AHHHHH >< (people really light up when I see them smiling to kids.. you know, it's like seeing something so innocent bring joy to your life. It's just those little things in life that can actually bring a smile to your face :) )

Eh wait. I'm not saying I was attracted by him. Not my cup of coffee (since he works in the coffeeshop. hahahhahahahahahahaha!! ok *shh*)

What I'm trying to say is that : Men become more attractive when they can interact with kids (I saw this on tumblr once and I didn't quite believe it)

ok, he didn't exactly interact but you could see that he was attracted to the kid (not in the pedo way - you know some people have this look that... no matter what they do, they just look like a pervert. Quite sad. They may not be necessarily harboring any ill intentions but you just get that feeling that they probably want to rape they kid even though he's just smiling at the kid in what he thought was the innocent way.)

SO. I guess, some people should still not smile anyhow lah. I think the kids' parents will be freaked out. lol like... "what are you thinking while you're looking at my kid like this........."

Then while I was in the train, this dude sat next to me. He's not very bad looking, dress sense not too bad, just normal..... but he had this "I think I'm very good looking" kinda feel. And :S

I don't like it. He just kept shaking his leg throughout, like wth... you have parkinson's or some muscle spasms?

But it's not my problem lah, just saying. HAHAHA!

What a journey home, observing my surroundings..

I have another cake today. zz Hope I don't grow too fat.

And I think I'm going to change my shampoo. random but just saying.

Ok, have a nice dayyy <3

18. eek.

Er. Happy Birthday to me.
Actually, I was so sian I wore jeans over my very short shorts this morning LOL
but whatever, I'm officially 18.
Haven't buy 4D, alcohol, watched M18 (officially). After A's, I'm going to buy tickets for an M18 movie like a real 18 year old. LOL JUST CHECK MY IC. JUST CHECK~

I guess I'll just video tomorrow, kinda like... skimpily dressed now. Disrespectful ah. HAHA!
OK. So, cya. And thanks a lot for all the birthday wishes.
I was so touched by the long, thoughtful messages.

bleh. oh wells. what's 2nd Nov. Just another day closer to A's.

lol. I can't believe I cried myself to sleep last night.

And I was so pissed just before I went to bed because the lights went off just as I was reading Carboxylic acids.

But anyway, I'm still pretty touched by some of the messages I received. :)

And surprisingly, from the people who are not exactly.. I don't know how to put this across.

Who were the people I thought I was close to?!

oh wells. happy birthday to me. bye.

1/11/11

Please be good to me. :/

You know, I get affected by words pretty easily. How am I supposed to react if someone said I grew fatter.

Stop falling. :'(

I'm really upset.
A few strands of my hair just fell off after I showered and I just started tearing. A few strands is okkkkkkkk but. The thought of my hair lessening everyday really makes me depressed. If not for tuition tomorrow, I really wouldn't even leave my house. :'(

Maybe I should go see a doctor. :'(

18th birthday sucks. :'(
Going to drown my sorrows in milk.

It was way better back then.

spam yoghurt and milk

**lol you can see how affected I really am by my hair loss. ahhhhh! After this yoghurt, I'll go drink milk.**

Oh. I forgot.


Have a nice day~


very random: I tend to pull away once someone/something reflects the thoughts in my head. Makes me feel vulnerable. Like just now, I saw something on Tumblr which was really really apt, but I just refused to reblog it. lol.

You Make Me Wanna

You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night.
You make me wanna hold you till the morning light.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul. 
I know this is a feeling that I just can’t fight.
You’re the first and last thing on my mind.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul.


90's boyband music in the morning again~ ^^


CAFFEINE AGAIN?
Before I conducted my research on hair loss, I was still thinking if I should go to Coffeebean or go home after geography consult - thought it was pretty lame to head home after consult since it ends at about 10am? --> Yeah, I feel weird going home in the morning since I'm so used to staying out till late. Stayed at home for the past few days though.
Back to what I found out, I read about the causes of hair loss and some of the foods (don't feel like spending so much money on shampoos etc. I'm already using some hair fall solution now. Miss Herbal Essence. :/ ) that can stimulate hair growth - food high in protein, nuts, yoghurts, salmon......
I'm going to eat yoghurt when I get back home later.
A lot of sites had this "Be careful of foods and drinks that may slow down/be detrimental to hair growth.." and one of those was caffeine.
Woah seriously, first the boobs, now the hair. AHHHHHHHHHHH! ><
So, after reading it, I guess I'll head home after consult. No Coffeebean. Since I'm currently drinking coffee.
SIGHS. :/


It's normal to lose 50-100 strands of hair per day because it's part of the normal hair growth cycle or something. But I feel like I really lost a lot of hair. :'( And it's affecting me a lot. lol
Lowers my self-esteem even more. uuuuurg. :'(


*ANYWAY. I learnt why our stomach growls yesterday!! ^^
I studied geography & math before doing my research during my "break time" so~
Yeah!! I totally forgot about peristalsis and chyme... "Moving with those solid and liquid chyme ingredients are gasses and air. As all these ingredients get pushed around and broken down into easy-to-absorb bits, pockets of air and gas also get squeezed and create the noises we hear."
Stomach growling doesn't only happen when we're hungry (that explains, I don't even feel like eating sometimes even though my stomach was growling), but if there's food then the growling will be muffled. So the idea is to have more small meals instead of just one heavy one because after two hours, the process of peristalsis will start again and it'll sweep up any food that was missed the previous time, or if there's no food thennnn the vibrations of an empty stomach will make you hungry.


Random: "borborygmi" --> noises made by a grumbling stomach


A few more minutes and I'll have to leave for school.
Ah damn, I don't want to tie my hair.
I'm really worried and I scream everytime some one tries to touch my hair. SIGHS. Please get well soooooooon. :/ Gotta consume yoghurt and nuts, and milk. 

Might sound crazy. 
But it ain't no lie.
Bye bye bye.