After CT today, I saw this particular someone whom I know people have been talking about, or rather, he/she was laughed at. Then I just felt guilty. I didn't laugh but I didn't try to stop and hmm. It got me pondering, so looks really do matter a lot huh.
Then I thought of how blissful life was when we were all younger, when appearance don't seem to matter as much? Or is it a natural thing? I read somewhere. Babies tend to stare longer at people who are better-looking and we tend to stare longer at babies who are better-looking as well.
I don't know :o/ But I find us superficial (Us- me included).
It seems to me like within every single one of us, there is both an angel and a meanie. And I sorta visualize it in a way, if the Meanie is taller then we're more inclined towards "Mean" and if Angel is taller then we're all nicer people. Hah. That's just me.
A lot of stuff flooded my head just now. I got reminded of some dance partner I had when I was in pre-school (I even remembered he's called Shawn/Shaun/Sean). I remember this good friend of mine, her name's Orange. I remember this child I used to dislike.
All in all. I got reminded of the mean stuff I did before and I feel bad right now. :o/
Is being mean a phase we all go through? There must be some time we dislike someone right . . . and do stuff like ostracizing (by being in cliques), bitching etc. etc.
Hm. Ok.. I'm so random.
I don't know if I should love life or dislike it. Anyways, you gotta accept it BUT. I don't exactly know if I like it or not. It's really extreme (I'm always extreme). There was this period of time when I dreamt of hell (My version was just burning flames but eh. Isn't that scary enough?). Then I would squirrel over to sleep with my maid (foreign domestic worker if that sounds any better). And I would tremble in fear when I think of that's how life's gonna end like and so I wanted to live life better. But HM. Sometimes, you just don't see why you're living. :o/
Ok. I think I should end here because this is really a very weird post and I've got mannnnny stuff running through my head, and if I were to type them all out, they'll just make no sense.
**Went to school at 12today (Yesterday also I think?) and my conduct grade? EXCELLENT. Congratulate me. :)
